Holdiay Memories and Nightmares
by Split Persona
Summary: Seiji thought HE was gone. He though he was free from HIM. But now HE's back and Sage can't escape him. Who will help him and what happens when the one he loves attempts to. Everything goes on a downwards spiral in the end. COMPLETE! Revenge IS sweet! ^_^
1. Prologue Memories of HIM

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A/N: Another teaser!! This is a fic that Jennifer and I did together. I think it was okay, but I'm afraid of people might try to report it so I have to remove a lot of the stuff I had in it. This is STILL a VERY dark fic! There will be nice things such as love, romance, and YAOI period, but lots will also be things some people won't like. The entire story is written, just not on computer. I have to edit it and type it out so you'll be waitin' for the rest. The next chapter is all that is typed out. 

Now I know this fic kinda like Dhely's 'Voices from the Past', but believe me when I say I started this before I even got the Internet last year. I just never got past the Prologue and part of chapter one until I realized that YAOI existed to give my story body and used it. I even used the RW names when I usually don't now.

Disclaimer: Don't own Ronin Warriors!! Only own evil people and extras.

Warnings: YAOI/Shounen Ai, Dark themes(naturally), GRAPHIC SCENES!!, NCS, NCS with a child, lots of other bad things. ToumaxSeiji fic with LOTS of Seiji torture. (What else is new?) I've warned you plenty of times, if you keep reading and flame I will NOT go easy on you!! Constructional criticism accepted.

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Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Kathrine and Jennifer

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Prologue - Memories of HIM

The darkness claimed him as he stood in the room. He couldn't escape the black void that had overtaken him. Something was pulling at his memory, trying to get him to remember what he had suppressed. The blonde didn't want to remember, but something about the darkness had called for it. The room was pitch black, save the sliver of light that broke through the covered window. He sat curled up in a ball as he tried to hide his fear from whatever could be out there in the nothingness.

He had always hated the cellar. It was an old food storage room that was just off the basement underneath his family's dojo. It was so cold and dark that it seemed a meat locker couldn't compare. The boy merely curled up in his blanket and fought the memories. He hadn't been to the cellar in a long time and wished the memories hidden in the place would remain hidden. But he knew that new memories would be created that night because HE was there.

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HE came every year for the winter holidays and seemed to be well known to his father. They had gone to college together after all and he had seemed nice enough when they first met. He had always been unnerved by the way HE looked at him, but just told himself he looked at everyone like that, save his father or any other member of his family. That had to be it, nothing else. But then after three days he was sent to the cellar for bad behavior. He'd broken one of the traditional trays they used during holiday ceremonies. He hadn't meant to do it, he's slipped on his sister's toy in the kitchen and, being only five, couldn't keep his balance.

He pleaded his innocence, but his pleas only made Grandfather angrier. " Take responsibility for your own actions," he said in an irritated tone.

HE had been on his side, saying the boy was too young. His mother agreed wholeheartedly. " He is just a child," she protested. " And you know how sick he can get. What if he gets sick while he's down there? It's too cold."

" No," his father countered. " You two are just too soft on the children. He needs to be taught a lesson." HE gave in too easily, but his reasons would be known soon enough.

For he came to the boy in the dark of the night unlocking the door from the outside. " You can't be in here," the little boy had told him. " I have to be by myself."

" I know you're afraid, aren't you?" HE'd shut the door behind locking it; for once the door was lock on one side it couldn't be opened by the other.

" Yes I'm scared," the boy answered truthfully. " I don't like the dark."

" I will just stay with you tonight then," HE replied sweetly. " It will be our secret, okay?"

" K," the boy smiled. He liked the thought of not being alone in the dark. He sat next to him and the boy could feel the black eyes staring at him intensely.

" You shouldn't have to be down here alone," HE said as HE pulled the blonde closer to him. " I don't want you to be afraid."

" Thank you," the boy praised. " You're really nice."

" I'm glad you think that way," HE sighed. " I was beginning to think you didn't like me."

" You just look scary," the child explained. " Your eyes are a little scary."

" Well I don't want you to think I'm scary," HE began to stroke the blonde's silky hair with his large hand. This caused the locks over the boy's right eye to play with his nose and he sneezed. " Bless you," HE laughed. Something about the laugh made the boy shiver.

" Are you cold?" HE asked.

" No Mr. Williams," the boy shook his head. " Well maybe a little."

" We can't have that," HE stated as he began to rub his hands up and down the boy's arms soothingly. " And call me Jack." The boy got a strange feeling from HIS touch, but he tried to relax. He didn't want to send him away and be left alone again, not in the darkness. 

" K… Jack," he nodded. Then he felt one of the hands slide down his arm onto his thigh and then between his legs.

" That's my boy," HE whispered as he rubbed the boy's inner thigh.

" What…?" the boy started to speak about the strange fondling.

" Ssh," HE whispered into the boy's ear. " It's okay, don't fight it." The boy didn't like the touching as he felt the hand slip past his pants waistband. His eyes widened as the hand touched him in his most private of places. He let out a small gasp as it began to pet him.

" But…" he whispered. " This is bad."

" Is it?" HE asked. " Then you must be just as bad as your Dad and Grandfather say. For you pushed me to this."

" I didn't do anything," he protested.

" Yes you did," HE countered. " You made me feel this way and pushed me to do this to you. You wanted it, asked for it."

" No," the boy cried as he was forced onto his back. He knew no one would hear him. The cellar walls were so thick no one upstairs would hear anything.

" Yes," HE hissed as he began to removed the boy's clothing and then his own pants. " You were a bad boy today. In more ways than one."

" Stay away," the child was so confused. He didn't know what was going on at all. No one had ever touched him there or had done this to him. He didn't like this feeling and wanted it to stop. He put out his hand as it shook terribly.

" Afraid of your punishment?" HE smiled just as he grabbed him by his arms. " You shouldn't have been a bad boy."

" I'm sorry," he apologized. " I won't be a bad boy. I'll be good."

" Too late," HE grinned as he took in a breath of the child's scent. " Your Grandfather said that I should turn you into a good boy." Then he began to kiss him on his arm, moving up to his neck and then his mouth.

The boy tried to move away, but strong hands held him in place. His grandfather couldn't have said for this to happen to him…could he? His grandfather wouldn't have condoned this…would he? That's when HE turned him onto his stomach. The boy felt something hard and stiff rub against his rear and didn't like it. " I'll be good," he promised as a tear fell down his cheek.

" No you won't," HE sneered. " You are a bad boy pretending to be an angel. Everyone knows you're a bad boy. They don't want a bad boy." That's when he used one of his large hands and held the boy's arms tight over his head.

" I pro-" the boys screamed out in pain as he felt the stiff object from before enter him. It hurt so much and he couldn't move. Tears fell from his eyes and HE began to thrust into him, hard and fast without stopping. The pain was too much, the boy continued to cry and cry until his throat hurt but still HE didn't stop. He still didn't understand what was happening. All he knew was that he was being hurt and his grandfather had wanted it done. He had been a bad boy and was being punished.

That's when he felt a strange gooey liquid being released inside of him as HE collapsed on top of him. He could still feel the pain, the object inside of him. All the boy could do was try to keep from suffocating until HE got up. It felt like forever and when he did move the object left him as well. He almost sighed as the thing left him but the pain was still there. He felt the dripping of something inside of him onto the floor as he curled up.

" I'm sorry," he cried in a hoarse voice as the tears came again. " I won't be bad anymore. I'll be a good boy. I'll be a good boy."

" You better be a good boy," HE whispered as he got up and searched for his pants. After HE was dressed, he laughed at the small child huddling in the corner, shivering uncontrollably. He picked up the items of clothing left on the floor and threw them at him. " Better get dressed," he grinned. " Wouldn't want you to get a cold. That would mean you were a bad boy."

The boy's lavender blue eyes widened in fear as he quickly tried to put his clothes on. " I'll be good," he sniffled trying to not choke on his tears. After he had his shirt on correctly he slowly lifted his gaze to HIS.

" That's a good boy," he nodded before unlocking the door. " You just better stay keep your act together." He left locking the door and returned quietly upstairs into the house for the night. 

The little boy just curled up in the corner of the cold cellar. He rocked himself back and forth repeating to himself, " I'll be a good boy. I'll be a good boy."

HE'd come the next morning as well, with the boy's breakfast. Promising not to leave 'until it was completely gone'. Afterward he used the sink in the basement to clean up everything, including the boy. When his grandfather let him out that afternoon the boy said nothing about the previous night's events. He never talked about his 'punishments' after they occurred. 

That had been eight years earlier, and for eight years every winter vacation was with HIM. His parents didn't understand why he acted out so much during that time of year, but things always seemed to happen that he was blamed for. Neither of his sister's could have possibly committed such acts. Only a bad little boy could do these things. Grandfather believed it was just his rebellion peeking during this time of year. He knew how to deal with rebellion.

The blonde sat in the corner of the darkness and tried not to cry. He had learned not to cry while it happened for it only made HIM more violent. One time he had returned from the cellar with a broken arm. Grandfather insisted he was just trying to get attention. Every time HE would defend him, but would creep down the stairs and into the cellar every night and clean it up before the boy was released or when he left. Still the boy said nothing to his parents, more now out of shame at what a bad boy that he had been.

He heard the steps outside of the door and the clicking of the locks and was reduced to the trembling five year-old of the first night. He continued to repeat in a whisper, " I'll be a good boy. I'll be a good boy" as HE walked in and locked the door behind him.

" I see you're still a bad boy," HE frowned. " You must like your punishment."

" No!" he shook his head. " I'm sorry. I'll try harder to be good!"

" For such a bad boy you're lucky," HE replied. " I will be away for a while longer than usual."

" I'll still be good," he promised. The man began to undress and laughed.

" You better," he commanded. " Who knows when I'll be back?" Then he proceeded to undress the boy who tried to pull away. The man smacked him across the face. " Remember what happened last time you tried not take your punishment?" he hissed. The boy nodded and gave in, putting on the emotionless mask that he had perfected over the years.

" That's a good boy," HE smiled as he forced the boy onto his stomach. " Don't worry Seiji, after tonight you'll never be a bad boy again."

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A/N: Got your interest? Just review and maybe I'll post and type it faster. I'm finished with RTP so I'm trying to see what I should start on next. I would really like it if you guys check out the bio page and actually told me which one you wanted next, but since ya haven't I'll just keep putting out these till I get a good vote.


	2. Chapter 1 Secrets Best Left Alone

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A/N: NEXT CHAPTER OF OUR NOT SO NEW STORY!

JC: Don't ya think you're acting a little to into this?

Kathrine: I like how this one came out.

JC: Me too, but just don't get all weird on me. I just had to put up with helping Jenny write her fic. Man I swear I never want that put on the site.

Kathrine: Why?

JC: Fluff and comedy, I'm going crazy.

Kathrine: Yeah, well let's hope it's not overly done.

JC: It's not even about Seiji!! She wrote it about Shu!

Kathrine: We can always change that.

JC: Oooh, good idea.

Kathrine: now can we get on with the fic?

JC: Yeah. Here ya go people, enjoy. ^_^

Disclaimer: DON"T OWN RW/YST! !_!

Warnings: Angst, Implied NCS, and Eavesdropping.

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Holiday Memories and Nightmares

BY Kathrine and JC

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Chapter 1

" Over here guys!" Shu called from his smoking car next to the sidewalk. School had just ended and three of his best friends were walking down the walkway.

" Not again," Touma sighed as he saw the smoke. " The 'Junk and Bolts' broke down again."

" I heard that!" Shu frowned. The others just shrugged as they walked to him.

" So what are you going to do?" Shin asked. " You know you can't push it back to the mansion."

" I guess I'll have to leave it here," Shu pulled his coat around him as his breath steamed from his mouth. " I'll come and fix it tomorrow."

" It's t-too c-cold," Ryo rubbed his hands together, trying to generate heat.

" Of course this is too cold for you Pyro boy," Shu smirked. Then he looked around in confusion.

" What?" Touma cocked his head to the side.

" We're missing Mr. 'Cool and Icy'," Shu stated. " Where is he?"

" Last I saw him was around 6th period when he was hiding in the science room," Ryo grinned. " The 'Mob' was after him again."

Shu could only snicker, " I can't believe all the luck he has with girls and yet he's scared to death of them."

" Hey, that's his thing to work out with them," Shin replied. " You shouldn't tease him about it. Especially at this time of year." Shu huffed slightly but knew his best friend was right. Seiji would be real snippy sooner or later this week, seeing as he was always that way during winter vacation. He just seemed to close off more and stay in his and Touma's room. He'd been doing it for the two years they'd been living with Nasuti, and they just didn't try to pry into it. Knowing Seiji, he would have closed off the link if they had even attempted to.

" There he is," Touma pointed to a figure coming from the back of the school. His blonde locks covered the right side of his face as he walked up to them. He seemed to be looking for someone until he noticed his friends.

" You finally got away from them?" Shu snickered.

" And it broke down…_again_?" Seiji smirked as he motioned to Shu's truck.

" Shut up," Shu frowned. Seiji always knew just how throw an insult right back at him.

" What is that saying about stones and glass houses?" Touma smiled devilishly through the cold.

" I get the picture!" Shu as he turned to head towards the bus stop. The others followed behind him, still smiling to each other. Well except Seiji, but that was normal.

" So what are your plans for the holidays?" Shin asked to his friends.

" Going home to see the folks and my sibs," Shu replied.

" Mom's pulled through and is taking me with her for a few days in Italy," Touma smiled.

" That's great!" Shin congratulated. Touma didn't get to see either of his parents often, but was ecstatic when he did get to spend time with them. Shin was happy for the archer.

" What about you, Shin?" Shu asked.

" My aunt and uncle are coming to visit from Britain so I'll be going home for a week," he explained before turning to Seiji and Ryo. " What about you two?"

" Staying at Nasuti's," they answered in unison. They looked at each other and Seiji almost cracked a smile.

" Why?" Shin frowned.

" My Grandfather doesn't need me to bug him all vacation," Ryo answered first. 

" More time for Nasuti, huh?" Shu snickered again.

" No it isn't," Ryo defended as he blushed. " I'm going to spend Christmas Eve and Day with him though." But he knew he couldn't hide his true feelings no matter how hard he tried. All of the Ronins knew about their leader's feeling towards the red head, but he still tried to keep them on the low key.

" And why not, Mr. Date?" Shin growled. Seiji could only shrug his shoulders. He knew that Shin believed religiously in spending time with your family. He couldn't really explain the truth to them. " Why?" Shin repeated.

" Just don't want to put up with my grandfather's antics," Seiji snapped. " Is that a problem?"

" No," Shin winced at Seiji's harsh tone. " Just thought that maybe you'd actually want to spend Christmas with them this year. You haven't for two years."

" So what?" Seiji asked icily. " Not like it's some huge festival at my house. Mostly ceremonial technicalities we're forced to do by my grandfather. My father doesn't get a say in the matter."

" At least go see them Christmas Day," Shin urged.

" Maybe," Seiji thought. " Satsuki will call the house every day if I don't."

" See," Shin smiled in victory. " I knew you couldn't stay away for so long."

" Whatever," Seiji shrugged as he stopped in his tracks. A familiar gray and black car was coming down the street towards the bus stop. The blonde could only stare as a well-known figure was seen in the driver's seat. He could tell the black eyes were staring at him and he wanted to run. It was HIM! HE had finally returned. That's when the car pulled up to the curb and stopped.

" Oh my God," the driver awed. " Little Seiji, is that you?" He got out the car and stared at the blonde with his dark eyes, hiding evil behind a broad grin.

" Excuse me?" Shu opened his mouth, as usual. " Seiji, do you know him?" He looked at the man who could have been about four inches taller than Seiji, with short cut black hair that he seem to be losing. HE smiled widely again and nodded.

" Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized. " I'm Jack Williams. I went to college with Seiji's father. Haven't seen him since he was thirteen though." Seiji said nothing.

" Oh," was all Shu could reply with. He had noticed the paler look of Seiji's already flushed skin.

" Well, it was nice meeting you," Mr. Williams smiled again. Then he turned to Seiji. " I'll be staying with at your house for a while. I guess your dad didn't tell you. He said you were staying with friends for a while and I was hoping you would stop by so we could catch up. I would love to know what you've been doing these past few years."

" Well, I won't be able to visit this Christmas," Seiji replied quickly.

" Oh, too bad," HE frowned. " Guess we'll just have to catch up later." Seiji nodded, not taking his eyes off the ground. " Well it was good to see you've grown," HE smiled quickly. " Hope you've been being well behaved." 

" I have," Seiji said immediately as HE walked around to the driver's side of his car and got in.

" Nice talking to you again Seiji," HE waved. " Hope you do come to visit while I'm here. Wouldn't want to miss you."

" Okay, bye," Seiji agreed. Then HE nodded to the others and pulled away.

" What was that about?" Touma frowned to Seiji. " He talked to you like you were five years old."

" Always has," Seiji replied. Shin could tell something else was wrong. He could see the fear that was pushed to the back of Seiji's lavender blue eyes and felt the fear he pushed back with his empathic abilities. Seiji could tell Shin was about to say something when he quickly cut in, " The bus is here."

*****

Within the next two days Shu and Shin had left for home and Seiji seemed to be acting more tense than usual for the season. Shin had wanted to wait another day, but Seiji assured him he was fine and pushed him out the door. He knew he would be better off with the only other Empath in the house gone for a whole week. He knew Touma was leaving the next day so he would have his other 'problem' pushed back for a while.

The truth was Seiji was falling for the blue-haired archer and didn't have anything to grasp on to. He couldn't tell his friend how he felt or he would lose his friendship. He didn't want that. He couldn't bear to lose his best friend over his own crush, he wouldn't let it happen. He sat quietly looking out the window into the snow as his worried thoughts plagued his mind. Thoughts that were surrounded with by memories of HIM.

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Why has he come back? Seiji wondered. _He'd said he would be back._ It seemed that HE wouldn't let him be. _ I've been good. I haven't done anything wrong. I've been a good boy._ His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. He let out a deep sigh before answering it. " Hello?" he asked into it.

{ Hello Seiji.}

" Why are you calling?" he almost shouted. It was HIM. " How did you get this number?"

{ Why Seiji you sound worried. I got it from your father. He said maybe I could talk some sense into you.}

" Sense for what?"

{ Your mother wanted you home for Christmas. She misses you and it makes her upset that you won't be here.}

" I said that I couldn't make it," Seiji tried to keep the fear out of his voice. He could feel his bottom lip quivering.

{ You're a bad boy, Seiji.} HE growled into the phone. { Only bad boys upset their mothers. I thought you were going to be a good boy from now on.}

" I-I am a good boy," Seiji began to revert back to his child mentality at the sound of the words 'bad boy'. His voice was weakened as he tried to remain calm. " I'm not going to let you bully me Jack. This is going to stop, now."

{ Yelling back to your elders? Guess you are still a bad boy.}

" J-just stop it," Seiji pleaded into the phone. " I'm not little anymore. J-just go away and let me be."

{ Your dad invited me. I just wanted to make sure you were coming to visit. At least for one night.}

" No," he said instantly. " You're going to leave me alone." He then felt a tingle of his senses, but quickly ignored it.

{ Maybe I should tell those friends of yours what a bad boy you are. Wonder what they would think?}

" Leave them alone Jack!" Seiji growled. " You better not try to come near them. They won't even be in town so you won't be able to do anything."

{ My, aren't we getting angry? I thought I had gotten rid of your temper. Maybe I should try harder next time.}

" There won't be a next time," Seiji replied. " You will never hurt me again, hear me? I won't let you do that to me again. Never!"

{ Remember last time you tried to rebel against your punishment?}

" Stay away from me!" Seiji yelled into the phone before slamming it down onto the hook. He took a deep breath and held back his tears. He knew not to cry, it would only make it worse. He used what was left of his mental strength to reconstruct the mask that had been almost completely shattered. He wouldn't let the others see him like that, especially not Touma. If he hadn't been so worked up he would have realized that someone else was on the phone, listening

*****

A blue-haired archer sat on his bed stunned at what he had just heard on the phone. _What does this all mean? _Touma wondered._ What did he do to you?_ Thoughts crept into his head and he quickly tried to fight them off. _Not _**that**, he begged. _Anything, but _**that**_._

__

He had been lying on his bed thinking about Seiji when the phone rang. He barely even registered the rings as he was deep in thought. He had noticed the way Seiji seemed to be more closed off and more nervous towards them in the past few days. He didn't want to leave him there when he was like that. He knew Ryo and Nasuti would be pretty occupied with their own 'affairs' and wouldn't try to butt into Seiji's business.

****

It has to do with that Williams guy,_ he told himself. _**Seiji was so quiet and tense when he was talking to him. And the look he had when he saw the car coming was like Hell itself was driving down the road. Something was definitely wrong and still is.**_ He thought of his trip with his mother and how it would be nice for Seiji to come with them. His mother had wanted to get to know him better since Touma had admitted to her his feelings for the blonde swordsman._

Touma couldn't deny his love for Seiji even if he tried. Fear of rejection was what held him back, hiding his feelings as good as he could. He wouldn't ruin their friendship over something like this. But it still would be nice if Seiji could join him on his trip to Italy. That's when the idea came to his mind.

Why couldn't Seiji come with him and his mother? She wanted to meet him and he didn't need to be cooped up in the house when Nasuti and Ryo were doing their own 'things' for the holidays. His mother wouldn't mind, he knew that. She was too modern and would mostly like push for it. With his mind made up, Touma picked up the phone on the desk and was about to call his mother. But that's when he had heard the voices on the phone…

{…make sure you were coming to visit. At least for one night.} Touma didn't recognize the voice for a second.

No. It was Seiji's voice and he sounded upset. You're going to leave me alone. 

{ Maybe I should tell those friends of yours what a bad boy you've been. Wonder what they would think?} Touma couldn't help but listen to the conversation where Seiji was getting very angry.

Leave them alone Jack! he'd shouted, almost hurting Touma's ear. You better not come near them. They won't even be in town so you won't be able to do anything. **Jack?**_ Touma thought before recognition came to him. _**It's Williams!**

__

{ My aren't we getting angry? I thought I had gotten rid of your temper. Maybe I should try harder next time.} The voice seemed to laugh.

There won't be a next time. Touma could hear the cracking in Seiji's voice. You will never hurt me again, hear me? I won't let you do that to me again. Never! 

The voice whispered into the phone. { Remember last time you tried to rebel against your punishment?}

Stay away from me! Seiji practically screamed into the phone before hanging up very loudly. Touma held still for a second, trying to collect everything in his mind, before hanging up as well.

He sat on his bed now feeling guilty for listening in on what he could tell was very private phone call. Yet, he **_was_** getting somewhere in the case of why Seiji was acting so strange. Something Jack Williams had done in the past to Seiji was the cause of it. The way he talked to Seiji, as if he was still five, and the way Seiji seemed to be both angered and scared just at the sound of the man's voice could only mean a few things._ Oh Gods, I hope not! _Touma tried once again to rid himself of the thought that reentered his mind. _He better not have done something like _**that**_ to MY Seiji. I'll use him for target practice!_

Now he wanted nothing more than to take Seiji on the trip to Italy. Maybe he could get him to tell him the truth about Jack and what happened between them. He knew it must have been eating at him and being Seiji meant he would say nothing unless forced to. _Maybe if he does come with us he'll actually open up to me,_ Touma hoped. _Maybe I could actually have a chance. Well, it's now or never…_ The Ronin simply got off his bed and headed downstairs.

*****

He found Seiji sitting on the couch watching television, something he barely ever did. " Seiji?" Touma whispered so not to startle him. It was no luck, seeming as the boy jumped at the mere sound of his own name.

" What?" he turned his head quickly. He sighed when he saw who it was. " Don't do that Touma!" he frowned.

" Gomen," Touma apologized as he sat down next to him on the couch.

" It's all right," Seiji assured him after his heart calmed down a bit. It wasn't going to calm down completely with Touma so close to him. Touma saw Seiji was trying to watch the game show that was on and knew it was a trick, Seiji despised game shows. He guessed that it was time for him to make his move.

" Hey Seiji?" Touma caught the blonde's attention.

" Nani?" Seiji asked as he looked directly into Touma midnight blue eyes, looking away instantly.

" Well, I was thinking that since Ryo and Nasuti will be 'busy' this vacation that you'd be pretty much by yourself," Touma started. " And then I realized that my mom really wanted to meet you and-" He suddenly couldn't find the rest of his voice.

" And what?" Seiji asked, his eyes showing confusion. Touma noticed they were watery as if he had held himself instead of crying over something. The sight of the tears trapped in Seiji's eyes made it easier to continue.

" Well I was thinking that you could come with me and my mom to Italy," he finished.

" What?" Seiji stared, noticing the conviction in the other boy's eyes. " You're serious? I couldn't do that."

" Why not?" Touma wondered.

" You don't get to see your mom often and I wouldn't want to intrude on the 'mother/son bonding' thing," Seiji shook his head.

" I told you, Mom's been dying to meet you," Touma replied. " She wouldn't mind at all. She'd probably think it was her own idea."

" You really are serious," Seiji smiled. Touma had to keep himself from melting into the smile and claiming the beautiful rose lips.

" Yeah I'm serious," he answered quickly. " I don't want you to be left here alone, especially on Christmas."

" Thanks Ro," Seiji patted him on the shoulder. " I won't be alone. I'll be going to see my family Christmas Day."

" Telling the truth?" Touma cocked his eyebrow to the side. Seiji could feel the desire growing in him at the mere sight of it. Touma was just too cute for his own good, or anybody else's.

" Yeah," Seiji nodded before getting up.

" Where you going?" Touma asked.

" To take a shower before bed," he faked a yawn. " Things are just starting to catch up to me." With that he quickly dashed up the stairs and into his and Touma's room. 

Touma could only stared in confusion. _Was that my wishful thinking or are Seiji's pants getting too small?_ He shook his head, telling himself it was just his sick imagination. Then he looked at his watch with a sigh. Nasuti and Ryo had gone to the mall four hours ago. He could only imagine what was keeping them.

*****

__

That was too close! Seiji took in a deep breath as he sat down on his bed. _How is it that he can do this to me with out even trying? _The blonde looked down at the bulge that had grown in his pants. _Things are going to get really complicated if he sees this._ Going to his dresser and collecting a pair of boxers and some pajama pants before heading into the bathroom connected to his and Touma's bedroom. 

It was so much easier to deal with such 'problems' having a bathroom right off of your room. It didn't help that the cause of the 'problems' lived right across the room from him. _I'll just have to deal with that _**after**_ I deal with Jack,_ he told himself. _But first…_ He walked into the bathroom and quickly turned on the cold water, hoping to rid himself of his obvious hard on.

A/N: What'd ya think? Everything's kinda getting interesting I guess. What will Seiji do now? Will Touma be able to help him? What are Jack Williams' intentions for Seiji now?

Kathrine: Now I know that we said we used the RW names, but I decided to change them to the YST ones. They just sounded better. I don't know why, but they do.

JC: Now please review. (Gives big brown puppy dog eyes.) 


	3. Chapter 2 Confrontation

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A/N: We're getting through this early. We hope that you like this. Oh and if you're wonderin' why JC is helping me with this, even though me and Jennifer wrote this, its because Kitty appointed her fic editor.

JC: I get to go through and take out all the overly graphic things so that FFNet won't ditch our account.

Kathrine: Yeah. (sighs) Well, anyway here is the next chapter.

JC: Hope you like this, I made sure it's our usual but not over the top.

Disclaimer: Don't own Troopers. DUH!!

Warning: YAOI, dark themes(DUH!!), mentions of NCS, psycho OC

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Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Jennifer and Kathrine

( Edited by JC )

Chapter 2-Confrontation

" Have fun," Seiji tried to smile as Touma picked up his suitcase from beside the door.

The blue-haired archer gave him a quick hug and replied, " I bet you won't even miss me. You get to have the house practically to yourself, seeing as Nasuti and Ryo are leaving Christmas Eve."

" Hey!" Ryo frowned, the blush completely covering his cheeks. Nasuti didn't say anything, but slid her hand into Ryo's in an attempt to calm him down. They both knew what Touma was implying about Ryo taking Nasuti to meet his Grandfather, but neither was going to dispute it.

" You know we'll miss you," Seiji smirked. " Just don't have too much fun and decide to move there. We need to have some fights around here."

" Hey, if I do you can always start yelling at Shu about his and Shin's room," Touma shrugged jokingly.

" Have a great time with your mom," Nasuti patted him on the shoulder before leading Ryo back into the house with a strange smirk on her lips.

" You know sometimes she scares me," Touma sighed.

" Tell me about it, I would hate to be Ryo if she decides to experiment again," Seiji couldn't help but laugh to himself. " Remember how she tried to get him to cut his hair to see if the style would look good on her?"

" Please don't!" Touma started to laugh. " I don't need to piss in my pants before getting to the cab!"

" Bye Ro," Seiji smiled gently as the archer back out of the door. " Call us when you get there all right?"

" I will," the air Trooper agreed. " But you know you still could come with me. Mom would be ecstatic."

" I already said I'd be fine," the blonde assured him. " Just have fun."

" Gods, it's a near twenty-four hour drive until I even get to my mom's place so we can leave!" Touma exclaimed. " I'll be too tired to have fun!"

" Until you see all the ancient astronomy encyclopedias and exhibits they have around Italy," Seiji smirked. " You'll forget all about being tired then."

" Guess you're right," the archer chuckled. " Well…bye." Touma waved to him and walked down the stairs to the sidewalk. He was greeted by Byakuen, who nuzzled his leg affectionately. " Bye boy," he smiled as he pat the tiger behind the ear. He knelt close enough so Seiji wouldn't hear and whispered, " Keep an eye on Seiji for me." Then he rubbed the tiger's head and walked to the cab that was waiting impatiently.

Byakuen would have smiled at the request if he could have, knowing full well how the two Troopers felt about each other. Touma sighed reluctantly as he shut the cab door, unsure if he was making the right decision after all. He so wanted to stay and keep and eye on Seiji, the blonde not being good at asking for help when needing it, or telling others his problems. _I hope I don't regret this,_ he prayed. 

Seiji watched from the porch as the taxi drove away and then shut the door before heading up to his room. _Now that I don't have anyone to worry about, I can deal with HIM,_ he thought. What he hadn't realized was that there had been two pairs of eyes watching him as he disappeared up the stairs.

" Aren't they cute?" Nasuti asked as she cuddled into Ryo's arms. " I don't even think they realize how bad they've got it."

" If Seiji hears you talking like that he'll completely deny it," Ryo replied, but them smiled. " But it does look like they fell for each other… and hard."

" You're not surprised?' she glanced at him. Usually, Ryo was the clueless one out of the group and yet he seemed like it was perfectly normal.

" Why would I be?" Ryo asked. " Those two have been like that since they met. It was like love at first sight. It only takes so long for a person to figure it out. Not even I'm _that_ blind."

" That's why I love you," she grinned as she kissed him on the lips. " So blunt and yet so innocent."

" Innocent? After last night?" he whispered mockingly. " I think you're mistaken."

" We could always go for round two," she smiled devilishly.

" How bout we wait until we know Seiji won't hear us?" Ryo suggested.

" Like he doesn't already know," Nasuti snickered. " Maybe I should just go join him upstairs instead then." She turned her back to leave, but was delighted to have her arm pulled to her lover's chest.

" Don't even think about," Ryo growled. " Besides you're not his type."

" Oh, I guess you're right about that," she giggled only to have Ryo kissed her again on the lips and pull her into a tight embrace.

" Now what was that about round two?" Ryo asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

*****

Everything seemed to be going so fast. A day had already past and Seiji had tried to stay away from Nasuti and Ryo as much as he could. He just couldn't deal with their over-active hormones and the passion-filled stares they shared without thinking of Touma. And he didn't need to be thinking of Touma when he had to deal with HIM.

And so he sat in his and Touma's shared room, sitting on his bed with a worried and desperate look on his face. _What am I going to do?_ He asked himself. _I don't know what he wants from me. No, I _**DO**know what he wants and that just makes it worse. He rested his throbbing head on his shoulders, unsure of how to handle the horror that had been plaguing him since early childhood.

Occasionally, his eyes would drift over to the other, more cluttered and lived-in, half of the room. He could see Touma's star charts that he had on the walls, pictures of friends and family on his paper and computer-covered desk. He smiled at the half-made bed, thinking of Touma's philosophy, 'Ya just gonna sleep in it later.'

" Oh, how you do this to me from continents away?" the blonde wondered sadly out loud. _What would Touma think if he knew? _The thought crept across his mind. _Would he hate me for being such 'bad boy' and having to be punished. It was my fault anyway…I was bad…I had to be punished…But it hurt so much…_

Suddenly, the air in the room felt very constricted and thick. He pulled on his collar and he stood, trying to take in more air. Not really thinking, he walked over to his closet and pulled out his shoes and smaller winter coat, happy that he'd stayed in his day clothes for once. Pulling on everything, he looked at the clock and noticed it was about four in the morning, early for even him.

__

I'll have to leave them a note, he realized. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from his own, neatly organized, desk, Seiji wrote a small note and took it with him as he left his room and walked quietly down the hall and stairs. He walked in the kitchen first, placing the note on the counter, and then walked back through the hall and to the front door. Looking around slowly, he opened the door and walked out into the cold late-late night air.

******

It was strangely warm compared to usual December weather. The roads were freshly clean and no snow had fallen in days. The only reminder that would change were the thick, dark clouds that had blanketed the sky for days on end. Seiji walked down to the end of the driveway and took off in a steady run down the side of the road.

He felt calmer knowing that he could always escape from his own world this way.

He continued to jog down the road, keeping his breath even and his pace normal. This was how he usually calmed himself down, training or running. He could lose himself in the simple act of maintaining his speed and counting his breaths. It helped him to forget his problems, even if only for a short while, leaving him refreshed and ready to face them when he was through.

He hadn't even realized a car was on the road until the bright headlights flashed in his eyes, blinding him for a few seconds. He stopped, putting his hands over his face and waited for the car to pass so he could resume his run. It appeared strange to him that the lights never left him face. He opened his eyes slightly, but could see nothing, save shadowed forms. He heard tires turning and the sound of a car pulling over before an engine cut off and the lights disappeared.

__

What the…? He didn't understand and had to let his eyes readjust to the lack of brightness. The first thing he saw was a black and gray car with a familiar figure getting out of it. _Oh gods, Oh gods, Oh Gods, Oh Gods…_ The blonde didn't know what to do. How had he found him all the way out here, so far away from his family's hometown? He didn't want to believe it was true, as he stood frozen in place by fear, waiting for HIM to say something, do anything.

" What luck have I got!" Jack grinned, dark eyes boring holes into him, making him feel naked and vulnerable. " I come out looking for you and you seem to show right up." He closed the door to his car and slowly sauntered his way towards Seiji.

" What's wrong?" he asked as he titled his head to the side slightly. " I come all the way out here and yet you can't even greet me Seiji?"

" How did you know I was staying out here?" Seiji finally gained the courage to ask. No matter what he'd been through before, the battles he'd fought, he would always be a frightened five-year old when it came to dealing with Jack Williams.

" You grandfather told me ya lived somewhere around here in the country with all those friends of yours," Jack smirked. " I thought I would come and try to convince you to visit for a bit, ya know. Get to you early when you're too tired to fight." The blonde could tell by the leering look that he was receiving that the answer had more then one meaning.

" Just go back," Seiji backed up a little, more towards the woods that were on his right.

" Are you afraid of me Seiji?" Jack asked directly. " I don't want you to be afraid of me."

" Go back Jack," Seiji repeated, ignoring his question. He knew he was afraid of the older man, and would always be afraid of him. But right now he just wanted to get away, go back home and stay in his room until Ryo and Nasuti left the next day. Unfortunately, the other saw things differently.

" Why don't ya just come with me so we can talk for a while, catch up on the past few years," Williams suggested. " I really have missed you."

" You missed hurting me," the blonde frowned. " I don't want you near me, I don't want you near my friends."

" Oh, you mean like the pretty one with the sea green eyes and the one with all the muscles? Or maybe the black-haired one with the blue eyes? Or do you mean the one with the bright blue hair that you were standing next you?" Jack asked. " Ya know, you never had friends before Seiji. How did you get them to become your friends? Let 'em fuck you? Were they that good? Maybe I should broaden my tastes a little."

" Stop!" Seiji had backed away so far that his back was up against a roadside tree. " Just stay away from them! If you come near any of them I'll…"

" What Seiji?" Jack was barely even three feet away from him now, slowly closing off his chances to escape. " Are you getting violent with me? Such a bad boy, do you need to be punished again?"

" Stay away from me," the bearer of Korin was losing his nerve as he felt the harsh breath of his tormentor against his face. He wanted to get away, to get as far away from HIM as he could. But now he was trapped with no where to go.

Williams placed a hand on the tree trunk beside Seiji's head and gave a smirked that the blonde had burned into his memory years ago. " You still play that game?" he asked. " How good are you at acting like such an angel around your friends Seiji? Do they know that you're nothing more than a demon in disguise?"

The blonde wanted desperately to move; to make him leave, but his hands were still at his side and his legs felt like stone. Fear had taken control on him completely and he couldn't overcome it when his worst nightmare was merely a breath away from him. _He's going to punish me again…to hurt me,_ was the one thought in his mind at that moment.

That's when they both heard the not so quiet growl from just a few feet away. Jack turned towards it immediately and his eyes almost burst from their sockets in shock. He was staring at a rather large and vicious looking white tiger. Its teeth were bared slightly, showing off the large fangs in the front of his mouth and its eyes were in a glare-like look. The worst was that the glare was aimed at him.

Seiji turned towards what had caught Williams so off guard. When he saw his feline savior he felt a small breath of relief. " Byakuen," he whispered.

" You know that thing?" Jack slowly began to back away from the blonde. The tiger immediately went to Seiji's side continuing to watch and growl at Williams at the same time.

" It doesn't matter," Seiji felt some of his confidence returning to him. " Leave me alone Jack. Don't come near me again, just let things be as they are."

" I don't know how you got a 'tiger' to protect you, but he won't always be there," Jack seemed more like himself when he wasn't so close to the deadly feline. " I always told you I would punish you when you acted like a bad boy. I meant it Seiji, you will be punished." With that he turned around and returned to his car, not taking a second look at the blonde he'd left behind.

Seiji watched him leave, his knees suddenly giving out and letting him fall into the snow surrounding the base of the tree. His heart felt like it was going 100 miles a minute and he couldn't stop the thoughts in his mind. _He's not gone, he'll come back._ Then he felt a slight nudge against his arm before a harsh tongue licked his cheek.

He set his eyes on Byakuen and smiled weakly, " I owe you boy. Maybe I'll go fix you steak or something, what do you say?" The tiger purred at the notion, liking the thought of a thick, juicy steak all to itself. But he could see the fear and concern still lingering in the blonde's eyes and knew that he wouldn't recover quickly from his confrontation with the man.

Byakuen growled just at the thought of the dark for, he'd caught harassing him charge. He smelled of something dark, tainted, unable to be cleansed. He knew that an evil like that shouldn't be within a human for that meant they had no soul. But from what he'd seen, he didn't think the man did have one.

" Come boy," Seiji called to him as he stood shakily, turning to head back to the mansion. The tiger understood the request and slowly followed him as they made their way back home.

*****

He drove down the road with a glare in his eyes and a snarl on his lips. He wanted back what was his. The blonde had been his to control and 'punish' every Christmas he'd come to visit his overly righteous friend after he'd married into his wife's family. He'd originally come to just see what his college comrade had done for the past ten years and had decided to find his 'pleasures' elsewhere while he was there. It wasn't until he'd met the family that he'd changed his mind.

The boy had been a Godsend. He was beautiful, no matter how anyone looked at him. His eyes were wide and innocent, round like his mother's but with the pale violet he knew was of his father's mother. His hair was the same color as his father's only more like sunlight than just ordinary blonde. The boy had truly been a child angel, an angel he would do anything to possess.

It had been a stroke of luck that day when Seiji'd been sent down to the cellar for bad behavior and he knew that was his chance to make the boy his own. Oh, he'd been so vulnerable and innocent as he sat on the cold floor, taking his discipline without any complaint or rebellion. He would have killed to take away that innocence.

Oh that had been such a pleasurable night. Seiji had been tight and exquisite, unlike any other he'd tasted. His tears and cries had only heightened his pleasure, pulling him in and addicting him to the small child. Oh and he was in deed addicted. The boy had been worse to him than any drug he'd known of in his entire lifetime. Once it was over, he knew he had to have him again and again…

And so he did have him again and even more after that. He made sure that an 'accident' would occur every year that he'd visited so that he could have his 'special' time with the boy. But then he'd left for a few years, only to return to find out that his angel no longer lived with his family and had moved in with friends two years prior. 

How could Seiji do this to him?! How could he think he could get away with trying to hide from him? The blonde belonged to HIM and only HIM! Oh, but he would have his angel again, would possess his angel has he had done many times before. He didn't care what type of friends or help the blonde was hiding behind, he would reclaim his angel.

That's when the familiar smirk reappeared on his features. _Just you wait Seiji,_ he thought._ You still need to be punished._

****

A/N: Well? What do ya think? Hope ya like it.

Kathrine: I bet you can tell where she edited it. (Growls about injustice)

JC: Well, I know what you have in store for later on in the story so I had to cut it out somewhere.

Kathrine: Just wait until the next chapter. ^_^

JC: Remember our little plea in 'Secrets and Lies'? Well Celesta Sunstar gets a free fic.

Kathrine: Thank you for reviewing and we do appreciate your comments. We completely agree that it needs to be fixed.

JC: So just send us an email from our bio page and tell us what you want in you own little story. Please use rules posted on the page though. 

Kathrine: Send the stuff to us and we'll fix you up a fic! Thanks, now please everyone review!


	4. Chapter 3 Awaiting Departure

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A/N: PLEASE DON'T KILL US!!!

Kathrine: We know this took a while, but we have a good reason.

JC: Our mom says that school is more important than our writing so we have only 2 hours to split between writing and the Internet a night.

Kathrine: Luckily, this only lasts until tomorrow night so we should be getting some real stuff done.

JC: Not to mention, we have other stories we've been working on lately so we've been splitting all our time between them.

Kathrine: Now in this chapter we just used of a kinda filler until the GOOD stuff in the next chapter. That's why it was hard to write. We wanted to skip it and get on with what was coming next.

JC: Now that our explanations are out of the way. Please reads the fic.

Disclaimer: Read Prologue. We're sick of these things. After all our stories people have definitely got the message.

Warnings: This chapter is pretty safe. Kinda angsty but other than that nothing is wrong.

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Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Jennifer and Kathrine

(No real editing done this time.)

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Chapter 3 – Awaiting Departure

Nasuti walked down the stairs sleepily, the morning seeming so tranquil to her. It was quiet, no loud noises or the like, no enemies waiting around the corner to harm the brothers she had acquired. Oh yes, to her all the Troopers, and even little Jun, were like family, her little brothers. _Well, _she corrected herself. _Ryo's not really my brother…_ She smiled at the thought of the one she'd left sleeping in their shared bed. Gods, she loved him so much.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and was hit with a strange draft, it felt very cold down there. Had they left a window open slightly the night before? She didn't believe they had, but that was the only explanation she could come up with. So she turned the corner of the stairs into the hallway, only to stop and gasp in confusion.

The door was open. A soft gentle wind was blowing through it and into the house, circulating the chilly air constantly. " What the…?" she didn't understand. Who had opened the door? She and Ryo had thought they'd made sure to lock all the doors before heading up to bed. Had Seiji done it?

__

No, she shook her head against the notion. Seiji wasn't one to do things like that. _What has been going on with him lately though?_ She wondered. The blonde had been very good at avoiding both she and Ryo for the entire past two days. He didn't act like he was avoiding them, but did make sure that he stayed away from them as much as he could.

__

He's never acted like this before, she thought. _Even with it being this time of year. Something has to be wrong. _Walking nimbly across the ice cold tiled floor in the front hall, she shut the door and immediately locked it. They had probably just forgot to lock it and the wind had pushed it open. She then turned and walked to the kitchen, ready for daily pot of coffee. Tea wasn't strong enough to keep her awake on such a relaxing day.

She noticed then that Byakuen wasn't on either of his carpets, neither by the hearth of the fireplace nor the one by the stove. The tiger had been acting strangely since the morning before. She's awoke the next morning to find Seiji cooking a steak in the kitchen and not telling her why since he was the vegetarian of their household. Then he'd just given the steak to Byakuen and gone upstairs. After eating the steak in a matter of seconds, the over-sized white house cat had left, turning up in the blonde's room later on.

What was going on in her house? She'd been leaning towards the explanation that Seiji was missing Touma and not knowing how to deal with his feelings towards the archer, but she wasn't so sure now. He wouldn't be so withdrawn and just having mixed emotions wouldn't have Byakuen hovering over him in a way that would make 'Mother Hen' Shin proud.

She sighed as she fixed herself a cup of the finally brewed coffee and sat down at the table. _I'll have to get Ryo to talk to him before we leave this afternoon,_ she decided. _I can't just leave him here all alone when something is so clearly bothering him. _This is one of the problems that she'd been coming back to for days. Everyone else was gone and she and Ryo wouldn't be back until Christmas night. Seiji would be in the big, lonely mansion all by himself. 

Neither she nor Ryo wanted to just up and leave him all alone on Christmas Eve like that, but she knew he'd only decline an invitation to join them. Sometimes the blonde seemed like such a loner that you'd wonder how he ever managed to maintain a friendship with the other boys outside of their yoroi bond. 

She knew it was just how he'd been raised, but she still felt that it was unhealthy to stay that locked inside of yourself. She didn't believe he'd fully recovered from the events in New York only a year before, he just acted like he was fine so he wouldn't seem like such a burden.

Oh it would seem like such a shock right then to think that _she_ understood so much about the blonde. Truthfully, she didn't. She'd just watched how he acted and out of concern sought out both Touma and Shin. Each boy said the same thing. Shin knew because he was an empath and, even though the blonde could still keep his walls up towards him, could feel there was still pain residing in him. 

Touma knew because he was the one who listened to the blonde when he was whimpering in his sleep and awoke in a cold sweat, the one who comforted him when Seiji would allow no other to do so. This was how she knew that Seiji had feelings for Touma, just because he let him in to a level that no one else could even think to reach. It was quite obvious that the archer had felt the same way from the cherishing way he spoke of the swordsman when she had brought up her concerns.

Sighing, she placed he cup down on the table for a moment. _How am I going to get those to together?_ She asked herself. _Seiji definitely needs someone he can talk to and to help him get out of his shell. Touma needs someone to give him the security that his real family couldn't and keep him grounded. They're perfect for each other…if only they'd realize it and quit running around the bush._

" Thinking about me?" a voice asked from the kitchen doorway.

" Sorry to disappoint you Ryo," she shook her head, a small smile coming to her lips.

" Ahhh," he pouted childishly as he walked over to her and sat in the chair besides her own. " That's a real dent to my ego."

" I'm just worried about Seiji being left here all alone on Christmas," she explained as she placed her hand on his own. " No one should be alone for Christmas."

" I asked him yesterday if he wanted to come with us," Ryo told her. " As usual he said no."

" We could always not go," Nasuti thought out loud, " but you haven't seen your grandfather for months."

" He would understand," Ryo stated. " And I could always visit him on New Years."

That's when their conversation was interrupted by the one person on their minds. " No," said person told them from the doorway.

" Seiji!" Nasuti jumped from her seat, startled by the blonde's manner of sneaking up on them.

" You two are going to visit Ryo's grandfather today," the swordsman continued, his voice showing no room for discussion. " I am not one that needs to be babied or worried about. I shall be fine here until you return tomorrow."

" But Seiji…" Ryo started.

" I know you believe that Christmas is time for family and friends to be together and celebrate Ryo," the blonde continued. " I was planning on visiting my family tomorrow as it was. I'll only be alone for one night."

" Christmas Eve?" Ryo questioned. He stared straight into his friend's one visible eye, trying to make out the hidden emotions he could see there. The blonde was indeed hiding something and yet it seemed that it had been there for so long. 

" Believe me, it is not the big deal you make it out to be," he replied. " I shall be fine and you shall go visit your grandfather. Christmas should be spent with family after all." With that the blonde turned around and left the room, returning to his own sanctuary on the second floor.

" Leave it to Seiji to put my own beliefs back in my face," Ryo sighed.

" See?" Nasuti shook her head. " You have to talk to him and find out what's going on, whether he wants to tell you willingly or not."

" Don't worry," Ryo placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, a gleam of determination in his eyes. " I will."

*****

It was just a little past noon when Ryo had finally come up with a plan to talk to Seiji. He knew that it would probably backfire on him, the blonde not one to be fooled easily, and hoped that it would still get his point across to his friend. With a strong resolve, the raven-haired warrior found the other in his room, Byakuen by his side as he'd been since the morning before.

" Hey Seiji," he called to him quietly, " Can I talk to you about something?"

The blonde looked up at him for a moment, Ryo believed it was out of confusion, before nodding, " Yes, what is it?"

" Well…" Ryo started, slowly forgetting how he was supposed to approach the situation.

" Hmmm?" the blonde made a sound telling him to go on.

" You see, I have this friend I met a while back," he began over. " I still talk to him and I noticed that he was having some problems. He seems to have a big crush on someone, I mean a BIG crush, but he's too afraid to tell her. He's too afraid to she won't like him the same way."

" He just has to take a chance," Seiji replied thoughtfully. " He's not gonna know if he's wasting his time unless he actually talks to her."

" But they're really close, like brother and sister, and he thinks all that will do is ruin their friendship," Ryo added.

Seiji was silent for a moment, not only thinking of Ryo's 'friend's' predicament with this girl, but his with Touma. That's why he hadn't told the archer anything. He was afraid that telling the other of how he felt would ruin their relationship as friends and comrades. _But what good is that doing? _He asked himself. _It only makes it hurt more by leaving it as it is._

" Seiji?" Ryo gave him a worried stare at the far off look he had in his eyes.

" He has to tell her," the blonde stated finally. " He'll never know unless he talks to her one on one. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, their friendship wouldn't have to suffer."

" So that's what I should tell him?" Ryo asked.

" Hai," Seiji nodded. " It's only going to get worse if he doesn't." The swordsman knew something was up because he could tell that he was in for something. Ryo's questions had been too personal, too close to home. Why would he even ask Seiji? The blonde wasn't the person that people usually talk to about things like this. Was he a replacement while the other empath Shin was on vacation?

He usually wasn't one to pry into another person's emotions, but he couldn't help noticing that Ryo was waiting for something, dying to say something that he was holding off on. He looked at his former leader and decided he wouldn't beat around the bush. " What is it Ryo?" he asked.

" You have to tell Touma how you feel," he said in bluntest tone of voice.

" NANI??" Seiji stared at him in shock. He knew that Ryo would be asking him about having feelings for someone, but he didn't think he'd be so up front and to the point with it, definitely not so right on the mark. Rekka was one to usually say things bluntly but in the most polite and understanding way. He didn't understand how could act so straight forward about anything like this.

" Everyone in this house knows how you feel about him, Seiji, and it must be eating you up if _I_ can tell something's wrong," Ryo looked him straight in his one visible eye. " Please take your own advice and tell him how you feel."

" Wha…" the blonde was at a loss for words. Everyone knew? Did that mean that Touma knew how he felt? If he did then why hadn't he said anything? How was he going to deny his feelings to Ryo when he hated lying to people like that, even over something like this?

" C'mon Blondie," Ryo gave him a grin. " The only person who doesn't know how bad you've got it for Touma is Touma himself. And as you told me to tell my 'friend', it will only get worse if you don't tell him."

Korin wanted to smile at how Ryo had turned his own words against him. Of course he'd known it would probably lead to something like this anyway, but it still lifted his spirits from where they'd been as of late. _I should tell him…But what happens if he decides he doesn't feel the same way? _Seiji knew it did no good to keep asking himself all the same questions because the uncertainty would always be there. He had to either decide to do nothing or actually put his heart on the line.

**__**

/ I meat it Seiji, you will be punished. /

What would Touma think if I told him about Jack? He wondered with a pang of fear in his chest. _Would he hate me? Would he even care? He'd probably think it was my entire fault. After all it was MY fault…I pushed him to it, I was a bad boy…He was just punishing me…_

" Seiji, ya still with me?" Ryo touched his shoulder. He was prepared for the blonde pulling away from him so quickly, or the look of total fear he could see in his eyes. " What happened? Did I do something?"

" N-no," Seiji shook his head quickly. " I guess I've been thinking too deeply about this. Gomen."

Ryo knew that wasn't true. Thinking about Touma wouldn't have caused that look of complete fear and pain he'd seen in the blonde's eyes even for a few moments. It had been something else. The question was, what?

" Ya know I'm here if ya need to talk Seiji," the raven-haired boy pointed out. " I know I'm not the best person to tell things to and you don't like telling anyone things you feel you should deal with on your own, but I am here if you need me."

Now at this Seiji did smile. It was so like Ryo to offer his assistance even if he thought it was unwanted and would be on unmarked ground. He was grateful for his friend's offer, but knew this wasn't something he was willing to tell anyone just yet. That was if he ever told anyone at all. 

" Arigato, Ryo," the blonde placed a hand on his shoulder. " That means more that you realize." Then he stood stretching out his muscles from being in a sitting position on his bed for so long. " You should really finish getting ready to go. Nasuti's probably wondering what's taking you so long."

Rekka then grinned sheepishly, " Actually this was as much her idea as it was mine."

" I thought as much," the blonde nodded. " But you should get ready, a storm should be coming today and you don't want to be caught in it."

" Guess you're right," his friend agreed. He stood next to the other swordsman and gave him a reassuring smile. " I hope you decide to not avoid us until we leave."

Seiji's look turned to one of shame and a hint of embarrassment, " Gomen, it's just that I couldn't watch you two while…"

" I get the message," Ryo nodded. " I use to get that way from watching Shu and Shin before Nasty and I got around to blurting everything out in the open." He chuckled. " Sometimes I wanted to kill Shu, I was so jealous."

" If you want I could help you finish getting your things together," the blonde offered. " Call it making up for treating you like the plague."

" Okay, c'mon," he motioned towards the doors before exiting. Seiji could only follow after him, ready to forget the thoughts on his mind. _Maybe, this will help get my head straight,_ he hoped. He knew that anything would be better than sitting with nothing but his worries right then.

*****

" Are ya-," Ryo couldn't even finish his sentence. Seiji had raised his hand quickly.

" I've already heard this song Ryo and it's getting rather irritating now," the blonde interrupted him. " I shall be fine alone for less than one day. You have no reason to worry about me."

" I think I could come up with a few," Ryo said under his breath.

" They still wouldn't be convincing," the blonde retorted, having heard him still.

__

I should have known he'd still hear me anyway, the bearer of Rekka sighed. " Well, will you at least call Ryo's grandfather's house tomorrow morning?" Nasty asked. " I don't feel right leaving you here all alone on Christmas Eve, Seiji."

" If it'll keep you from continuing to badger me," Seiji agreed. " I'll call between eight and ten, all right?"

" Hai," she beamed in triumph. " Now, there's enough food and, seeing as you and Shin are the only relative good cooks out of the five, I know you can find something out of it."

" Hey!" Ryo frowned indignantly.

" I still love you," she patted him on the arm like a mother would an ego-wounded child. " I guess that's all though."

" Be careful, the storm is getting worse and accidents are very likely in this weather," Seiji warned. True, the storm he'd predicted the day before was practically upon them. It was snowing, the flakes still soft but coming in a large abundance. He knew that it would only become harsher as the day went on. That's why he'd told Ryo and Nasuti to leave early, also beating the traffic that Christmas Eve would undoubtedly create.

" Yeah, we better be getting outta here," Ryo picked up his and his girlfriend's bags, walking towards the door. Nasuti followed after him, giving Seiji a warm smile before opening the door. They were greeted by a small gust of wind, bringing with it a large cluster of snowflakes that melted the instant they collided with the warm air that filled the hallway.

" I know you've heard it enough," Ryo gazed back at him briefly, " but just don't do nothing but sit around here alone until we get back. Try to relax, think of how to deal with that little 'problem' we talked about earlier." 

" That's something I have to deal with on my own Ryo," Seiji told him. " Don't worry, I will figure something out."

" Good," Ryo seemed satisfied before walking out the door. Nasuti followed after him. Seiji watched as they walked to Nasuti's four-door SUV, she'd bought it when she realized that the jeep was too small, and put in their little amount of luggage. He was about to shut the door when Ryo came hurrying back up towards the house.

The blonde raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. Ryo looked somewhat embarrassed about something. " I can't believe I forgot," he sighed before calling out, " Byakuen!"

Seiji's eyes almost widened, but he hid it unspeakably well. Byakuen, the tiger had been his protection and stabilizer since the terrifying events of the day before. He'd guess that Ryo would probably take him, but had a strange prayer that he would leave him behind. Never in the years since the war against the youja emperor, Arago, had he thought he would need Byakuen the way he did then. But he couldn't ask him to leave him, not without giving away that something was indeed as wrong as his friends had suspected.

The white feline walked to the door at a leisurely pace, obviously not worried about beating the storm that was just over the horizon. Ryo snorted at him for his attitude and walked out the door, knowing that his long time companion would follow. Byakuen walked to the door but stopped at Seiji's side. He looked up into the blonde's one visible eye and he knew the question that lay there.

" I'll be fine, thank you for being with me," he scratched the blue-eyed feline behind the ears and Byakuen gave a small purr of contentment. He then pulled away and walked out the door. Once he was outside, Seiji could hear the starting of the SUV before it pulled away in the white blanket the outdoors had become. It was then that the blonde finally shut the door, rubbing his arms to generate the heat stolen from its extended time open. The silence fell upon him in the house and he realized the fears that came from the emptiness around him.

*****

" You sure he'll be okay?" Ryo asked Nasuti as they pulled onto the road and turned, driving towards the cabin where he had spent most of his life.

" Probably," the reddish brunette told him. " Seiji is very responsible and can take care of himself, unlike a certain _other_ person I know."

" Hey…" Ryo started.

" I was talking about Shu, but I knew it'd get your feathers flustered," she smiled before giving him a kiss on the cheek and turning her eyes back to the road. Ryo grinned at her for that but it slowly died as he thought of his blonde friend. Christmas was not the time to be left alone, especially not when you seclude yourself as much as Seiji did already. 

And then there was the strange way the blonde had spaced out and pulled away from Ryo earlier that day, the glimmer of fear he'd seen in his eyes for that brief second. _What had that been about?_ Ryo wondered. _What was he thinking about that would make him scared? Touma? That wouldn't make him pull away like that. It was almost like he was just scared from me touching him._ His mind continued to think of this without coming to an explanation. With a sigh, he settled himself into his seat and prepared for the rest of the ride.

*****

HE watched the SUV drive with a smile on his lips. The woods around the house of his angel were thick and gave great cover during the storm. But he could still see the house and the happenings of the things in the driveway. He'd seen the black-haired boy and a brunette woman leave, the wretched tiger following after them on the road. He'd been concerned that the beast would keep him from his angel, but now it was gone and he knew his angel was all by himself in the large house. Everything would go just as he'd wanted. He would get his angel again…and punishment was to be dealt with pleasure.

****

A/N: See??? BIG THINGS IN NEXT CHAPTER!!!

JC: Hope ya can wait a little. We're still writing, but we're also getting into our other passion. Which, if you haven't realized it yet, is music.

Kathrine: We such at it, but we try so just be patient with us. School isn't so we hope yall will be.

JC: Now we'd like to know what ya thought about this. Send us a line or something. Suggestions on what you want to happen in other stories would be great. They help us get chapters done faster.

Kathrine: Oh and Evil Penguin and her five split personas. Ya know we'd love to meet ya sometime. Crazy people like us should have a club. The 'Five or more in One Club'. ^_^

JC: Well, please review. Hoped ya liked it.

Kathrine: Ja!


	5. Chapter 4 Repeated Cycle

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A/N: Hey everyone!! We have the next chapter!!

JC: Sorry this took so long!

Kathrine: Now, there was a rape scene in this story but we edited it out for FFNet so we wouldn't get into trouble.

JC: Also because I wouldn't even read it.

Kathrine: Well, anyway, the rape scene will be on MMOrg and probably Shadow of Arashi's site where We post our fics as well.

JC: Now here is the edited version and we hope it was worth the wait.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. * Sighs irritatedly*

Warning: NCS!! Not graphic. Mostly implied. Rape scene on MMOrg. All standard warnings for our fics apply.

__

Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Kathrine and Jennifer

( Edited by JC )

****

Chapter 4 – Repeated Cycle

The silence was near maddening for the nerve-racked blonde. He couldn't help but feel he was being watched. To take his mind off of his worries, Seiji had cooked up a late vegetarian lunch and then sat down in front of the television. He knew that some stations would have Christmas specials, but he didn't care about those. Christmas was the one season that he hated, mainly due to the memories that surfaced during said time of year.

He found himself watching reruns of old Anime shows, not truly caring about what was going on. It was merely a very desperate attempt for a distraction that, unfortunately, didn't seem to be doing its job too thoroughly. His mind would continue to wander from whatever show he was watching at the time and think of the predicament he'd put himself in.

__

If I tell Touma how I feel, I'll have to tell him the truth about Jack and I, he thought with a tinge of fear. _But if I don't tell him, I may never get the chance to. _He hadn't forgotten Jack's wretched promise from the day before and knew he would in deed go ahead with his threat if he had the opportunity. That's why he'd taken the liberty of spending two hours making sure that every door, window, any type of entrance to the house, was locked. He'd also checked every shadowed hall, every nook and cranny, anywhere a large person could hide just to assure himself that his long time stalker wasn't in the house already.

__

I know I'm acting paranoid, but I can't help thinking that he's coming to get me. I keep feeling like he's around here somewhere, waiting just so that he can **punish**_ me._ It took quite a bit of his mental strength to force back his wariness and attempt to concentrate on the redone 1950s Anime that was on at the moment.

It was about six o'clock when he'd realized that he'd dozed off, 'Speed Racer' unable to hold his attention for any more than twenty minutes. But the reason he'd awaken was due to the strange chilling sensation that was creeping up and down his spine. He eyes flashed around for a moment, but he couldn't see or hear anything that would constitute the warnings he was feeling.

That's when he realized his skin was covered in goose bumps and a faint draft was going though the house. " What the-" he stood up and walked out around the table towards the front hall. He was about to walk into the cold corridor when the telephone on the other side of the living room rang. Sighing out loud, he turned around and headed back towards the ringing phone.

He picked up the phone, wondering if Shin or Shu had decided to check in and called into it, " Moshi, Yagyu residence."

{ " Hey Seiji." } It was Ryo.

" I thought I was suppose to call you in the morning," the blonde reminded him. " What's going on?"

Ryo voice came back sounding rather confused and sheepish, { " Well, we got to my grandfather's by four, but Byakuen keeps acting really weird. He seems worried about something so I decided to call to make sure everything was all right." }

" Nothing's wrong," he assured him. _If you don't count that I am paranoid out of my mind._ He could still feel the coldness that was blanketing the room and was yet to have a chance to find out where it was coming from.

{ " You sure?" } Ryo asked, still not completely satisfied. { " Byakuen's usually right when he's worried and I don't want something to happen." }

" Well, everything is-" he didn't get to finish his sentence. A shadow descended over him and pain laced through his head as if he'd been struck by a metal block, causing him to gasp in pain and confusion. The phone fell from his hand and clattered to the floor, though not before he'd fallen with it. He tried to figure out what was going on, tried to see clearly, but everything in his vision was black and soon his mind followed along with it.

HE smirked down at the limp figure at his feet. HE could still hear yelling coming from the phone and shook his head. HE didn't care if someone came now. By the time they got there it would be too late…HE was going to have his angel no matter what. With a smug look of victory on his lips, HE knelt down and picked up the phone.

{ "Seiji! Seiji are you all right?!!" } the voice sounded scared and desperate. { "Please answer me! Seiji, this isn't funny!" } Ignoring the weak, pitiful please of his angel's friend, he hung up the phone.

" Seiji can't come to the phone right now," HE spoke after he'd heard the click. " He'll be busy for quite a while." Letting out a sinister chuckle, HE turned his attention back to his 'sleeping' angel. Oh before it had been delicious to watch him sleeping when he looked peaceful and still seemed innocent, but now he wanted him awake. Although, HE still had '_preparations_' to complete so he could me ready for his awakened his angel.

*****

" …this isn't funny!" Ryo yelled into the phone. He waited another moment and called into the receiver again. Still no answer. It was then that he heard the click of the other line hanging up and the call went dead.

" What happened?" Nasuti asked, a look of fear and dread on her face.

" Something or someone cut him off," Ryo's voice was a little shaky. " He was talking and then I heard something. Someone just hung up the phone after that."

An old man stood behind Nasuti, a look of question and worry evident. " You should return home Ryo," the gray-haired man told him. " Your friend is in definite need of help."

The ebony-haired boy nodded before quickly putting on his shoes and coat. He heard a familiar growl once again and turned to Byakuen. The tiger had been alternating between pacing, growling, and scratching at the front door for the past half an hour. Ryo had known it wasn't because he needed to 'take care of business' and yet had decided to call Seiji in an attempt to calm his companion's uneasiness. What he'd gotten certainly hadn't been what he was expecting.

" Come on boy," he opened the door and a white blur was all he could see flashing past him. After Byakuen had left he could see no trance of him, the storm crashing upon them with massive force.

" Ryo, please be careful, it's going to be dangerous out there," Nasuti warned him, knowing she was to stay behind with Grandfather Sanada.

" I'm more worried about Seiji right now," he replied as he walked out the door, shutting it tightly behind him. The wind picked up briefly, ruffling his hair with its sea of white powdered ice. He trudged through it quickly and reached the SUV, brushing off the mounds of snow that had piled onto its windshield ands driver's side. He had to hurry. 

The mansion was four hours away, plenty of time for something drastically horrible to happen before he could prevent it. He also knew that the storm would hinder his driving even more. He opened the car door and climbed in, not even caring if the seat got wet. He turned it on and was thankful for Nasuti's driving lessons, and hoped that he wouldn't get stopped by any traffic officers. He would have had his girlfriend drive, but knew that it could be too dangerous for her to come with him.

__

Hold on Seiji, he thought, praying that the other swordsman would somehow hear him. Then he began praying that Byakuen got there in time to prevent too much damage from occurring, for he knew that something was in deed going to happen no matter how much he wanted otherwise.

*****

He fought to regain consciousness, but his mind refused to cooperate. It didn't want to wake up, didn't want to face what was undoubtedly waiting for them. He knew that someone had hit him and he had a pretty good idea who said person was, making his weak desire to awaken lose its ground even more. He was so close to just giving up and returning to his black void.

But then he felt and heard the slap that streaked burning pain across his cheek. His eyes flashed open out of shock and then took a few seconds to focus. He was aware of the fact that he was cold and couldn't feel the protective friction of clothing against his pale skin. Then his eyes finally turned to set themselves on the figure that stood over him, a familiar smirk gracing its lips. If you could use such a pretty word to describe the evil creature he knew said figure to be anyway.

" I was afraid you wouldn't get up," HE seemed quite pleased. Seiji tried to gather in his surroundings, to figure out how he could save himself. What he found was what he had already known. He was naked, hands cuffed to the head post of the bed and legs tied separately, a rope held in each of HIS hands. He knew he was in trouble.

__

Oh Gods, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, his brain wouldn't work anymore. He was trapped at the mercy of his childhood tormentor and could do nothing about it. Had he been so paranoid that he hadn't realized he was so close? But he was sure he'd locked all of the doors. How had he gotten in?

" What's wrong Seiji?" he purred as he tugged on the one rope connected to the blonde's right leg. There was a sting of discomfort at his body being stretched like that, but he knew it would only get worse…far worse.

" H-h-how…?" he tried to asked.

" Do you know how stereotypical it is to have an extra key above the front door?" HE laughed, a harsh laugh that burned the blonde's ears. " You should have been more careful, such a bad boy." HE took one of the ropes and tied it around one of the posts of the foot of the bed. " You knew that I would punish you for trying to disobey me. You should have just come to visit."

" I was coming tomorrow," the blonde told him, trying to do anything to keep him from hurting him like he knew he wanted to.

" Really?" HE looked surprised before smirking again. " It's kind of late for that information though, isn't it?" HE walked around the bed so that he was standing next to it, one of the ropes still in his hand. Seiji was forced to bend his leg and set his foot on the bed to prevent it from hurting. He pulled at his restraints, hoping he could free himself but it was to no avail. He was trapped.

" Oh, trying to fight me?" he asked. Too quick for Seiji to stop with his head still throbbing from being hit earlier, he was smacked across the face hard and with great force. He could feel the blood in his mouth and couldn't even spit it up, having to swallow it and choke slightly. Immediately, he turned his head away from HIM and continued to pray to himself that it was some sort of horrible nightmare that he would wake up from. He wanted to be back on the couch watching Anime reruns, nothing even remotely close to this happening.

" Are you going to cry Seiji?" a rough hand grabbed his chin and forced him to look into dark eyes.

" N-no," the blonde replied.

" Why not? Your tears are so pretty," HE ran his thumb over the blonde's split bottom lip. Blood ended up on his finger and he licked it off as if it was a delicate lollipop. Just the sigh made the blonde visibly cringe, shrinking back into the mattress on the bed. He didn't even want to look at the man, let alone be so close to him.

It came to him then that it was his_ own_ bed he was strapped to. How had he known which room was his? How had he known which bed in the room was his? Had he been in the house before, watching him in his room? Oh Gods! He had been in their house! It sickened him even more to know this, to know that he'd had chances to hurt him before and to hurt his friends as well. 

__

What does Ryo think? I never got to finish talking to him. He knew that his 'leader' was probably on his way, but it provided no comfort when he was four hours away. _I'm trapped here…alone… with HIM._ His heart was beating near at least 80 miles per hour and his breathing continued to come out in raspy breaths.

" Are you scared Seiji?" HE asked. " I never wanted you to be afraid of me. I just wanted you to know that you would be punish. But you were such a bad boy while I was away and after I came back. Bad boys like you deserve '_special_' punishments." He climbed onto the bed, pulling Seiji's leg so that the blonde wouldn't be able to kick him.

The blonde tried to shrink away from to HIM, to not have to be so close, but it was no use. " Please Jack," he pleaded in a small voice. " Just let me go, please just leave me alone."

" No, my little demon," HE shook his head. " For isn't that all you are? A demon trying to disguise himself as an angel? But you're such a good actor, aren't you? You have everyone fooled, except me. I can see what a demon you really are and only I can tame the evil within you."

The blonde could feel the tears coming to his eyes, the words he'd heard repeating to him since young childhood having struck a painful cord. He didn't want to cry, didn't want to please HIM with his tears. And yet, he was unable to stop them from falling slowly down his cheeks, burning bruised skin and shaming him even further. He wanted to hide them, wanted to act like they weren't there, only HE had seen them and his smirk had already grown deeper into his wretched features.

" Such beautiful tears, my little demon," he purred again as he wiped the tears from his angel's face and licked them from his fingers. They were the most delicious liquid he'd ever tasted from this boy besides his blood and he wanted more, oh so much more.

HE slowly began to undress himself, removing his clothes and setting them neatly on the floor besides the bed. He had to remember where they were for later. After he'd divested himself of clothing, HE slid himself between long, muscular pale legs, one remaining tied while the other was somewhat pliant from the rope in his had.

Seiji's breath halted at the position HE had taken between his legs. He didn't want this, not again. The blonde wouldn't become the victim again, if he could stop it. But the longer he lay there, trapped and vulnerable, the more of himself he seemed to lose in the old memories. Memories of the hands touching him now, touching him in ways he'd rather not even knew existed. Memories of his tears and pleas for help that were never answered and of questions he'd asked before but now with new reasons.

__

Gods, why won't anyone help me? he sobbed silently to himself._ Touma, oh gods I should have gone with you, should have told you how I felt. I'm not good enough for you now, I never was good enough. I'm too dirty, filthy, broken, **evil**. You deserve someone who can love you and won't soil your innocence like I will._

HE watched as hiccuping sobs racked the lithe, well-muscled boy he was leaning over. His angel had turned his head against the pillows in an attempt to quiet himself. It wasn't working and he was quite happy with that. He loved to see his angel cry. But right now it wasn't enough. No, no, no. Right now he wanted to hear him scream.

*****

Something wasn't right. He stared at the storm around the taxi he was in and frowned. He could feel something, an aching pain in the back of his mind that only seemed to worsen as he neared his destination. _What happened?_ he wondered, not able to deny his worry. _Ryo and Nasuti should have gone to Grandfather Sanada's already. The only one at home is…_ His eyes widened considerably and his heart beat increased at the revelation.

__

Gods, Seiji is hurt! His mind cried. He knew then that he would forever be grateful to his understanding mother. It had been after only three hours of talking to her that he'd agreed to return home. She's been so angry that he hadn't admitted his feelings to Seiji and demanded he do so before something screw it up. He'd decided then to take the day drive back to the mansion instead of the trip to Italy. _Oh Mom, why did you have to be so right?_

It was supposed to be a surprise to the blonde for him to return home and be there to celebrate Christmas with him. Now he didn't care about anything except making sure that his secret love was all right. He closed his eyes and tried to reach Seiji's mind through the link they shared from their yorois, but it didn't work. All he could feel was pain, even though it was unbelievably weak. _He must not have his yoroi with him,_ he thought.

" Please be all right," he prayed.

" We're here," the taxi driver told him. The blue-haired boy looked outside but there was too much snow. Even so, he could see the outlining of the large home only a few feet away from the car. Quickly, he pulled out his wallet and removed the large amount of bills that would be needed to pay for his cab ride from the restaurant he'd eaten a late lunch at on his way home. He'd always grabbed at least three taxis on his way home, each driver receiving large tips and cab fare.

" Here, take this and here's some extra, please wait here until I tell you otherwise?" Touma asked, not knowing if he might need a ride to the hospital should something truly be amiss.

The cabby looked at the large amount of money that had just been given to him. " For this much I'd wait out here until tomorrow morning," he stated turning off the car. Touma nodded at him and got out of the car, pulling his scarf closer to him around his neck in an attempt to ward off the cold. Maybe having well off parents wasn't too bad of a thing after all.

He shook the thought from his mind and concentrated on trying to feel Seiji. Pain was all the responded to his mental probing. After taking a second to collect himself, he trudged up the front steps to the small porch. He didn't bother reaching into his pocket to dig out his key and merely put his hand on the ledge above the window, searching for the extra key usually left there. It worried him that he didn't find it.

He placed a hand against the door to try to figure things out and was shocked when his weight caused the door to fall open the rest of the way. He fell to his knees from the surprise and quickly stood up. He looked around and heard no one, nothing at all. He was about to yell out the Seiji's name, but a immense amount of pain caught him off guard and he knew that it was coming from upstairs. He threw off his scarf and coat and ran up the stairs, his heart pounding with fear and anxiety. _Gods Seiji, please be all right!_ He prayed, hoping any deity would hear his pleas.

****

A/N: How was that? Hope it was okay.

Kathrine: We know you're wonderin' how Touma got there so early, or maybe so late?

JC: Well, it is a day's drive to his mom's 'cause of meals and sleeping at night. When he got to his mom's she lectured him until he finally decided to go home. It took another day to get back and then the storm was a factor as well.

Kathrine: Now, we also know some of you wanted Byakuen to get there first. Just wait till the next chapter, our favorite tiger will get to have his fun. ^_~

JC: Now, please review and tell us what you think.

Kathrine: I shall repeat that the unedited version will be on MMOrg tonight so you can read it there. Ja ne!


	6. Chapter 5 Rescue

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A/N: Hey, we finally got to update early! It's a miracle!

JC: Well, this chapter was one we both knew the fans wanted.

Kathrine: Kinda longer than all the other too. Well, we hope you like it.

JC: Byakuen does get his pound of flesh. J 

Kathrine: I think the fan got what they wanted out of this chapter, but know that I did have my fun with this.

JC: Heaven, help us all.

Kathrine: Oh they won't listen. J 

JC: L .

Kathrine: J Now on with the fic!

Disclaimer: We are poor so we can't own the Troopers. We spent all of our money on a bleaching kit for our hair. Now we're blonde like Seiji. J 

Warnings: NCS, Seiji torture, fight scene that is poorly written and quickly ended, Lots of blood, and HIM. What more can we say?

__

Holiday Nightmares and Memories

BY Kathrine and Jennifer

(edited by JC)

****

Chapter 5 - Rescue

HE walked out of the bathroom and sighed contentedly. He hadn't been pleasured so well in years. But of course, he would expect nothing less from his angel. He finished drying the extra water from his hair and threw the towel on the floor. He wasn't worried about leaving a mess, not with the bloodied, bruised, and broken mess he'd left on the bed. Smirking at a job well done, he sat at the foot of the bed and watched his angel.

The blonde was whimpering quietly, his throat too scarred from screaming to be able to do anything more. His legs had been released from their bindings and bloodied rope burns encircled his ankles. His thighs were caked with blood and his face was bruised due to continuous beatings from his fists. Blood covered his mouth not only from his throat and lips, but from giving HIM pleasure as well. 

The boy's eyes were open but they stared at nothing, glazed as they were from blood loss and pain. He just lay there on blood drenched sheets, blood that was all his own, and whimpered, a beautiful music for HIS ears. To HIM, his angel never looked more beautiful.

Licking his lips at the pictures HE in his mind of the night just spent with his angel, he pulled a small pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket. Frowning a little, HE pulled a liter from said pocket and lit the cigarette. " You see this," HE waved the skinny stick of nicotine and tobacco in front of his angel's face. " You caused me to start this stupid habit. I had to get a rush somewhere, you were just too far away."

The blonde whimpered again, but said nothing. HE doubted his was even coherent enough to do so. HE took a thick drag from the cigarette and sighed, letting the smoke be released near the blonde's face. It just wouldn't do anymore, not after the night he had just experienced. HE then looked over at his angel, eyes tracing the smooth muscled expanse of his unmarred back as he lay trembling on his side. It was the one place where he'd never scarred the boy. 

Glancing at the cigarette for a moment, HE smirked before placing it lightly against the juncture between the blonde's neck and shoulder blade. HIS angel whimpered even louder from the flash of burning pain. He shuddered and tears fell down bruised cheeks once more. HE smiled at the tears as they mixed with the blood on the white covered pillow. Gods, his angel was so arousing, especially when in pain.

HE took the cigarette then and pushed it into the first vertebrae of the smaller form's spine, right at the bottom of his neck. HIS angel cried out softly at that, blood coming from his lips at the unwanted action. The blonde moved slightly, trying to get away from him so the pain would stopped, but his movement only caused his to cry again as even more pain laced up his spine from his lower regions.

Next, HE forced it into the small of his back against another vertebrae, squishing it into the boy's back and relishing the smell of burnt flesh. The blonde pulled away then, tugging on his still metal-bound hands unconsciously. HE loved to watch his angel writhe in pain and pulled another cigarette from his pack. Lighting it so that it still had a small flame on the end, HE pressed the tobacco stick up against the side of the boy's neck. This elicited a groan-like whimper and a cringing motion back into the blood-soaked sheets.

Through the entire thing, HIS angel's eyes remained a glazed blank look. It was like he could feel the pain, but was somewhere else, his mind having shut down. HE liked the lifeless look in the blonde's eyes and loved the fact that he was the cause of it. The pathetic whimper's made him sound like he was a wounded wolf. Graceful, beautiful, even deadly to most, but still broken. And HE was hunter that had caught and broken him.

" So beautiful," HE murmured as he ran a hand up his angel's leg. " Such a beautiful angel."

" Oh my God…" a voice gasped from the doorway. HE turned to stare in midnight blue eyes that were quickly going from shocked to down right homicidal.

*****

Touma raced up the stairs as fast as he could without making any noise. He knew something had happened and only hoped that Seiji wasn't too badly hurt…or worse. At the top of the stairs he stayed silent, listening for anyone who could be in the house. But all he heard were faint whimpers and cries, all which were coming from his and Seiji's room.

He tiptoed to the door that was partially open. The whimpers weren't very loud, but he thought he heard someone talking inside. Pushing the door open the rest of the way, he stared in shock at the scene. A tall, somewhat thick figure sat at the foot of Seiji's bed, pants on and shirt on although not even buttoned.

He seen the person before and hadn't forgotten who it was. _Jack Williams, _his mind growled. But Jack's hand caught his attention. It was running lightly up and down the pale leg of the other figure on the bed, a figure that was whimpering and sobbing softly. _Oh Gods, no…_

The other person was Seiji. He was laying on his side, hands cuffed to the headboard of his bed and legs bent slightly, bloodied burns on his ankles that Touma believed came from the red-stained ropes that lay on the ground next to said bed. His face was bruised and blood was dripping from his mouth. Gods, there was so much blood! It was all over the blonde's thighs and covering most of the sheets he lay on. Williams merely continued to pet him and Touma felt his rage growing.

He wasn't even aware of himself speaking until Williams turned to look at him, a look of curiosity subsiding when the smirk returned to his lips. He knew he was caught and yet…he didn't care. That only pushed Touma farther into his homicidal rage. " How could you…?!" he glared at the older man.

" Oh, I guess we've been caught," Williams laughed. He turned his eyes to Seiji and shook his shoulder. " The cat's out of the bag, my little demon." The blonde said nothing and Touma wanted to die for the blank, absent look in his friend's eyes. Seiji wasn't home anymore, that the archer was sure of.

" Y-you monster!" Touma growled. " How dare you hurt him!"

" He is MINE, always has been," the older man retorted as if it was so obvious. He then stood up and started towards the archer. " But you all did cause me some trouble. I almost didn't get to have him again."

" A-again?" Touma's words were caught in his throat and his eyes were blurring in disgust and rage. How could this man, this **_animal_**, do this to Seiji? The blonde had never done anything to anybody, pretty much staying on his own when he could and not confronting anyone. To think that someone could hurt another person in such a way, and for Seiji to be said person was almost too much. It almost didn't seem believable in a way, but it was **all** too real for him as he stared at the bloodied form of the man he loved.

" You know what, you're very pretty yourself," Williams smirked again. " I can see why Seiji wants you."

" Nani? How would you know?" Touma demanded.

The dark-haired man merely chuckled, a harsh sound that the archer couldn't stand. " He called out for you, cried about how he was too evil for you," the other explained. " I know what that means. He was always the whore type."

" Shut up!" Touma growled. " You are nothing more than a monster! You raped him! People like you shouldn't be allowed to live!"

" Ooh, so harsh," the man didn't seem effected. He was only a few inches away from the blue-haired boy and he could tell his hands were trembling. " Are you afraid of me?" Williams asked. " Such a weak boy, just like my little demon."

" Asshole!" Touma snapped right then. He lunged himself at Williams, knocking them both to the floor. Instantly, he punched him in the face, striving to hear the satisfactory crunch signaling a broken bone. But all he got was that wretched laugh which he had already come to loathe. Nothing would satisfy him more than to punch out every tooth in that man's pearly white mouth before shutting him up permanently. 

But Williams had a different plan. He used his weight advantage on Touma to knock him off balance and forced him to the ground. He then sat on the younger boy's legs, trapping against the floor. The archer wasn't strong enough to push him off without calling upon his yoroi, a choice which he was heavily leaning towards. He would have loved to nail Williams to the wall with a few good arrows.

" I could get used to you beneath me," Williams licked his dry chapped lips as his shifted his weight slightly for a better position.

" Not while I'll live!" Touma snarled at him before bending his knees and shoving his opponent off of him and against the nightstand that was next to Seiji's bed. He landed against it and chuckled even more, slowly catching his breath.

" What does a monster like you find so damn funny?!" he couldn't take the laughing anymore. He wanted to shut him up and yet, even through his rage, his curiosity wouldn't be silenced.

" Just that anyone one could fall in love with my little demon," Williams answered. " I know he's a good fuck, but he's not the type to love, only to take and possess."

" That's not true! Humans don't use people like that!" Touma refused to believe such a preposterous thing. " But you're not human, are you? You're an evil, disgusting creature that shouldn't even be on this earth, let alone breathing!"

" You talk too much," the other stated, pulling something from behind his back. Touma gasped and backed away instantly at the sight of the black gun. " It worked on Seiji, and I didn't even have to pull the trigger. How will it work on you if I do?"

The dark-haired man walked towards the archer with an air of victory and superiority. To him, he had won. Touma backed up towards his own bed, trying to stay as far away from the deadly weapon as possible. His mind continued to try and think of how he could get to Seiji. That was all that mattered to him. He had to make sure Seiji was still… 

__

Of course he's alive! He yelled at himself. _Seiji isn't going to die._ He stared straight into dark eyes that held no remorse, no regret, nor sympathy for the person he'd just broken, possibly beyond repair. Knowing he actually felt good about what he'd done made Touma want to take the gun in his hand and shoot the beast himself.

" Goodbye boy," Williams smirked and pulled the trigger…

That's when a loud roar could be heard and a large white blur burst into the room. Williams was tackled to the floor as razor sharp teeth ripped the gun from his hand. The bullet missed its target and embedded itself into the wall behind Touma near his bed. The man let out a scream of pain…but no one cared. 

Touma stared in shock at Byakuen unexpected arrival, but quickly collected his wits and rushed to Seiji's bed. He had to keep his stomach in check at the disgusting smell of blood and sex that seemed stained into the air around the bed. He stepped over the ropes and stood next the blonde's head. He didn't know what to do, he was too afraid to even touch him, too afraid he might break completely and crumble away into nothingness.

" Seiji?" he called to him, ignoring the cries and pleas from the man being mauled by the white tiger not even ten feet away. He slowly reached out an unsteady hand and placed it against the swordsman cheek. It felt so cold. His heart raced with fear and he lowered his hand to the boy's neck and stilled. The pulse was almost non-existent. He had to hurry and do something or Seiji was going to die.

The cries were decreasing and he realized that Byakuen was about to kill Williams, that he wouldn't be able to pay for what he did to Seiji. Death would be his release, his freedom to an afterlife. Turning around quickly he yelled, " Stop! Don't kill him Byakuen!"

The tiger stopped his assault, his teeth removing themselves from the man's calf, and stared at Touma in confusion. Why would he want him to stop? The man was evil, he had to die. He looked back at his quarry and could tell that he'd been knocked unconscious from when the feline had banged his head roughly against the floor. It would be so easy to rip out his throat or bite of something vital.

" He has to pay for what's he's done," the archer explained with a snarl on his lips. " Death is _way_ too good for him."

It was just then that a loud yell came from downstairs. " Byakuen!! Touma!! Where are you?!"

" Up here!" the blue-haired boy yelled, still checking over Seiji. He had to find away to uncuff his hands. That's when he saw the pair of small silver keys connected to a key ring on the nightstand. " Yes!" he picked them up and quickly went to the task of freeing his friend from the metal bindings. Pounding steps could be heard on the stairs and a figure was in the doorway instantly. 

Ryo had known Touma had come home when the taxi driver waiting in the drive had told him his charge was 'a blue-haired kid.' He didn't know how the other could have been back so soon, but he'd hoped that Touma could have saved Seiji. From what he saw right then, even the archer had been too late.

Byakuen was growling and hovering over a limp figure near the wall and Touma was busy trying to uncuff another form from the bed. He could tell that said form was Seiji from the blonde hair. " There's so much blood…" he stared in fear and disbelief.

" Ryo, please don't freak out on me," Touma pleaded and he removed the last cuff from Seiji's wrist. Both of them were bruised and the skin torn from constant pulling and tugging for the hours he'd been trapped, red scars running around them in circles. " Ryo, get me some blankets. He's so cold."

" Cold?" Ryo didn't like the sound of that. Cold meant…

" He's alive," Touma told him quickly. " But he's lost too much blood and has to get to the hospital like hours ago. That asshole did a real number on him, Ryo."

" Who?" the raven-haired boy demanded to know. His glare turned towards the bloodied form that his tiger companion was just waiting to devour if he got the go a head.

" Leave him! Byakuen made sure he won't be able to go anywhere," Touma was lifting Seiji from the disgusting mass of blood and semen-stained sheets. He held him close and turned towards his leader figure. " Seiji is way more important right now. HE'LL get his dues."

The swordsman nodded and rushed to Touma's bed, pulling the comforter and sheets from it in a graceful swoop. He walked over to Touma and laid them on the floor besides him, pushing the wretched red-stained ropes out of his way. The archer quickly lowered the blonde onto the bedspreads gently and wrapped him in them, making sure his entire body was covered and held in the warm embrace. It scared him that the blonde's eyes never closed and remained the same lifeless expression.

" What are you going to do?" Ryo asked him. " I left the SUV about ten miles back and came here in my sub armor."

" Hopefully the cabby won't ask too many questions," Touma stated as he pulled Seiji into his arms once again. " You have to stay here and call the police, don't touch anything, get Byakuen outta here. We don't know what they would say to having a tiger around."

" That's no problem, I've got his papers," Ryo told him.

" Fine, that will make explaining how that monster ended up full of teeth holes easier," Touma's voice was getting very shaky. " Just tell the truth Ryo. You got here and Byakuen attacked Williams because of Seiji."

" Are you sure?" the raven-haired asked.

" No I'm not, but I don't know what else to do. I have to get Seiji to the hospital," his shook his head to hold back his tears. He had to stay focused. Seiji's life was on the line. He could fall apart later after he knew the blonde wasn't dying in his arms.

" What should I do about HIM?" Ryo's eyes flared and Touma could see the unhidden anger within them.

" Nothing, don't touch him unless it's to keep him from dying." Touma was very adamant about that. " He has to live so that he can pay for hurting Seiji. If death wasn't so lenient I'd let you cut out his heart, if he does have one." He stared down at the broken form in his arms and knew he had to get out of there now. " Please, just call the police and keep that monster from dying."

Ryo nodded and Touma turned around, fleeing from the room and down the stairs, not once even thinking he might have dropped the blonde during his decent. He ran out of the open door into the storm and pulled the blanket closer to Seiji's body. He wouldn't having him dying from the cold either. He rushed over to the taxicab and watched as he driver got out immediately.

" What the _hell_ happened to him?!" he gawked.

" Somebody attacked him! Please just take me to the hospital and I'll pay you double!" Touma begged him.

The driver stared at him for less than a moment before running around and opened the back door for him. " No charge," he told him and Touma nodded thankfully. He slid Seiji into the sear slowly before getting in himself and pulling the blonde back into his lap. The blonde head speckled with red and pink lay against his chest as the cabby shut the door and ran to the driver's seat, getting in and starting the car as quickly as possible.

" Seiji?" Touma placed a hand against the blonde's ice cold cheek. " C'mon Blondie, talk to me."

A soft whimper was his answer, barely heard by the archer. Why wouldn't Seiji look at him? Why were his eyes so blank and empty? Had Williams broken his spirit and mind that badly? Was there any part of Seiji even left in the trembling form he held to his chest? And if there was, how was he going to get him back? That was…if he could get him back.

*****

The room was sterile white, a sickening color that matched the unearthly white tones of Seiji's skin. He was hooked up to monitors and IVs, blood being pumped into him to restore what he's lost and machines keeping his vitals in check. Touma sat there, next to the bed, and just watched him with unblinking eyes. It seemed like he wasn't even there in the room, more like he was watching from some strange television or monitor and crying over a movie.

But he couldn't cry. He hadn't been able to cry the entire time, the shock still not lifted. "How could he do this to him?" he asked in a weak voice. " Gods, Seiji, you didn't deserve this, none of it." He could still here the doctor's words in his mind from part of the conversation he'd had with her after Seiji's operation.

****

" He suffered severe internal injuries and trauma to his rectal area," the black-haired doctor explained. " We had to bypass quite a bit of scar tissue to be able to stop the bleeding."

" Scar tissue?" Touma didn't understand.

" Well Mr. Hashiba," she started, her voice quiet and sad. She hated to have to be the bearer f such news to the friends of her patients. " Scar tissue usually heals over the wounds in the anal area after severe rape. We found that there were layers of scar tissue, most torn from the recent attack. But the only explanation for it was that this has happened before to him, many times."

Touma hadn't spoken anything, merely stared at her as if she spoken nothing. The reality of her words hadn't even settled in yet. And as if she could sense his massive state of shock, the doctor decided to continue.

" Now, he's lucky because we were able to stop the internal bleeding and none of his vital organs were harmed badly, some merely bruised," she told him. " Whoever did this wasn't going for the kill."

" B-but how is he now?" the archer asked her in an almost detached voice.

" He's resting, he was in shock when you brought him in," she told him. " You were lucky to have gotten to him in time or else he probably would have died from blood loss. All his injuries will heal eventually and he will have scars on his wrists and ankles, but that's not what I'm truly worried about." She hadn't missed the blank look in the blonde's eyes before she had sedated him to operate on him and knew that many mental and emotional areas would need to be healed as well.

" C-can I s-see him?" Touma asked. " I don't want him to wake up alone."

" Of course," she nodded and motioned for him to follow her. He stood from his seat in the waiting room and complied readily. " You know, I will need to contact his parents and tell them about this. I think they would like to be here for their son."

That's when it hit Touma. What were his parents going to say? His grandfather? How would they react to knowing that their son had been attacked by someone who seemed to be a friend of the family? The doctor had even said it had happened before, why hadn't they noticed? Why didn't they protect Seiji?

" Mr. Hashiba?" she called to him.

" His family, they don't live around here," he told her.

" Well, what is your friend's last name? You told me his first," she asked. " We have people who can find them for us."

" Date, Date Seiji," he answered.

" Date? I believe I knew someone named Date," she thought, knowing the name wasn't common " She went to medical school with me, very nice formal girl. Kita was always very stubborn though, and wouldn't let people control her."

Touma just stared at her for a moment. " Kita? That's Seiji's mother's name," he told her.

" Oh my," she couldn't believe it. " I don't believe it. I haven't talked to her in so many years."

" Well, his parents won't be able to get here soon."

" I still need to call them," she pointed out. She remembered how her school friend was. She was protective of those she cared for. It would hurt her greatly to know that such a thing had happened to her son.

" If it's for the best," Touma agreed.

" Come," she pointed at the door they stood in front of. " Your friend's in here." Touma had taken a deep shaky breath before following her into the room.

He hadn't even that thought the doctor would know Seiji's mother. It was just so coincidental. But he was glad that she seemed so certain that Seiji would be all right, even if his psychological state was still in question. _At least his eyes are closed,_ Touma thought. He couldn't stand to stare into those empty eyes any longer.

It had been seven hours already and the storm had finally let up about five hours before. The policed had been there three hours before, asking him questions and trying to get his account of what had happened. Luckily, they were lenient with their interrogation (meaning they didn't ask how the attacker was mauled by a tiger) and didn't ask him to come down to the station. It seemed that they understood that Seiji needed him more.

The cabby had left with a very satisfying tip. He'd told Touma he'd hadn't need to, but Touma had urged it so he wouldn't to worry about the cleaning bill for scrubbing down the back seat. He knew that some blood had been on it when he'd gotten out of the cab and he didn't want the man having to pay for doing a good deed.

" Merry Christmas Seiji," he whispered, slowly moving a freshly cleaned strand of hair away from closed eyelids. " But this isn't much of a Christmas, is it? Now I know why you hate this time of year so much. It's worst than hell."

" Touma?" He turned around immediately turned to look into worried tiger blue eyes.

" They finally let you come?" Touma asked. " I thought the whole 'Byakuen attacking Williams' thing would take a while to explain. But I guess…seven hours is a while."

" Yeah," Ryo agreed. " They let up after I showed them the ownership papers my dad got from the government. Then all I had to do was say that Byakuen attacked him to save you and Seiji. They bought it after coming here to see Seiji." Touma turned his head at that, gazing back onto the broken form lying on the bed.

" How is he?" the raven-haired boy finally asked.

" He hurt him Ryo, he hurt him really bad," the archer tried to control the sob in is voice. He stood up and walked away from the bed, not taking his eyes off Seiji until he was beside Ryo in the doorway.

" He had major internal bleeding and his anus was torn thoroughly," Touma whispered almost. " His wrists and ankles will be scarred and his voice box might be harmed from the scarring they found. His intestines were bruised, though not badly. That monster wanted to hurt him, not kill him."

" Gods!" Ryo's voice raised to a tone of hatred and disgust. " How could anyone do that to a person?!"

Touma said nothing, unsure if what else he knew would be wise to release to his temperamental leader. He thought of what the doctor had told him of the scar tissue, the phone call he had listened in on before he left, and the way Seiji had acted around Williams the first day. It all came to the same thing. That monster had done this to Seiji before. But when? How long had it been going on? Why hadn't anyone stopped him? Why hadn't Seiji told anyone?

Ryo could see the apprehensive look on the other's face and could tell he was worried about something. " What is it Touma?" he asked. " Nothing you tell me could be worse than this."

The archer decided then that he didn't care what Ryo did. Williams was going to get what he deserved one way or another. " The doctor said there were layers of scar tissue…" he started.

" What does that mean?" Ryo asked, not fully understanding.

" It means that this has happened before," Touma looked away. " It mean this was going on for a while before we even met Seiji."

" You mean that somebody else…!" Ryo rage was quite apparent to anyone who looked at him.

" No one else," Touma interrupted him. " It was Williams the whole time, I know it was."

" Oh Gods, and you didn't want me to kill him?!" Ryo growled.

" Oh, don't worry, he'll pay for this," Touma assured him, an evil glint in his eyes. " Believe me, he'll pay. Even if it takes a quiver full of arrows to do it."

" Shin and Shu are on their way," Ryo told him, knowing better than to contradict the blue-haired boy when he was so bent on revenge. " Shin called as soon as you left. He was freaking out, been trying to call all night but no one was answering."

" Guess the others felt it too," Touma sighed. " But it's good that they're coming. Seiji's gonna need all the support we can give him and more."

Ryo nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder. " He'll probably do better knowing you're right there with him," he stated.

" Ryo, some of the things Williams told me, I don't know if they're true…"

" Of course they're not!" Ryo frowned.

" But there's one thing that I want to be true…" the archer trailed off.

" Nani?" the swordsman didn't understand.

Touma looked away. " He said that Seiji…that he… Well, that Seiji wanted me," he finally was able to get the words out.

Ryo's eyes widened a little before he tried to hold back a small smile. " If you hadn't realized that already you were blind," Ryo told him. " Seiji has been in love with you from day one."

" But... What would he want with me?" Touma asked in a small voice. " He could have anyone, guy or girl. Why would he even give me a second glance?"

" Gods Touma," Ryo stared at him for a moment. " If you ain't got one of the worst cases of low self-esteem that I've ever seen…"

" Ryo," the archer gave him a warning tone.

" Seiji wants you so bad that he was scared to death Touma," Ryo would have laughed if not for the situation at hand. " He doesn't even know how to express himself like that and it scares him."

" Yeah right…" Touma wasn't going to believe him so easily. It was too much of what he'd hoped for, too much of what he'd been dreaming about for over three years. Seiji actually wanting him was just too good to be true.

" You didn't see him while you were gone," Ryo pushed on. " I had to convince him not to stay in his room. You had him so confused that he actually had a conversation with me about it. Sure I initiated it, but…"

" Are you serious," Touma asked in a wishful tone. " I don't want my heart broken Ryo, I couldn't deal with it." 

" He doesn't either," the other boy stated. " That's why he hasn't told you anything."

" I have a feeling it's already broken, and not from love," Touma knew he had to get back into the room. He had to take care of Seiji, now more than ever. He wouldn't let him go through this alone, no matter how much the swordsman wanted otherwise.

" I did find this in Seiji's clothes that were under the bed," Ryo pulled a green orb from his pocket. " I didn't think the police would mind if I took it."

" Thank Gods," Touma held the crystal preciously in his hand. " This will help him recover faster. Well, at least physically anyway. I don't know what how we're going to heal everything else."

" By not letting him be alone," Ryo told him. " By letting him know how much we care about him and making sure that Williams pays dearly. If anything we can at least do all that for him."

" When did you become so knowledgeable with this kind of stuff," Touma asked him curiously.

" Just telling you what I want to hear myself," the raven-haired boy shrugged. " Nasty said that usually works best."

" Well, do it more often," the archer told him as he walked back into the room. " I don't think Seiji's gonna be able to play the voice of calm reason for us anymore, or not for a long while anyway." With that he turned around and entered the room once again, ready to continue his vigil over the one he loved.

****

A/N: Well? Was that satisfying enough?

Kathrine: Me and Jen already got the next chapter going.

JC: Hopefully, that one will be on a much happier mood.

Kathrine: Maybe… Maybe not… ( grins impishly )

JC: Sorry for not updating on this sooner. We have been grounded off the Net since Sunday couldn't sneak on at any point or time.

Kathrine: Just to let you know, this story is coming to a close. Only two or three chapters left, one probably being an Epilogue.

JC: Okay so please review and tell us what you think?

Kathrine: Just to let you know, the next chapter of OVoRWwaCT is coming along a little faster now. The next chapter should by Saturday or Sunday. Now, bye!


	7. Chapter 6 Awakening to the Aftermath

****

A/N: We're back……

Kathrine: We would like to thank everyone for their support. It was definitely appreciated.

JC: We're almost finished with the next chapter of CftH. I know, it's amazing.

Kathrine: Now here is the chapter that yall have waited weeks for. We hope that it was worth it.

Disclaimer: Check earlier chapters.

Warnings: Angst, Bad Dreams, Dark themes, Everything else that is usual for us and we don't care if ya don't like it. Constructional criticism is accepted, but senseless flames will be retaliated against. Now is not the time to piss Kathrine off.

__

Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Jennifer and Kathrine

(Edited by JC)

****

Chapter 6 – Awaking to the Aftermath 

__

/ Cry for me, little demon…/

****

No, please let me go. It hurts…

/ Your tears are so pretty…/

****

Stop, please stop…

/ Such a pretty demon…/

****

No, STOP!

/ No one wants a bad little boy, Seiji…/

****

I'll be good…I will…

/ Such a liar, demon…/

****

No, I'll be good… Just stop…

/ You look so pretty when you're in pain…/

****

I'll be good… I'll be good… I'll be good… The pain wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop it. It radiated through his body and he continued to cry silently as it deepened. He could feel the hands against his skin, the burns, the stings, the fists, and the blood… It kept flowing, leaving his body in gallons and he felt himself weaken. But then came the penetration, the pain coursing through his body as if to replace the blood he lost. The more he felt leaving his body, the greater the agony became. He couldn't fight it, no matter how much he struggled. 

The hands wouldn't leave, the thrusts kept going deeper, splitting him in two. He wanted to cry, but his throat hurt so much as it was. The tears were on his cheeks and he twisted and turned, trying to fight them off, trying to make them go away. It felt as if there were six hands instead of two, all hurting him, touching him and making him cringe in fear. Why was there never anyone there to save him? Why did they insist on letting him be hurt so badly?

Oh, why couldn't Touma come and save him? Why didn't he tell him the truth before this? **Touma… Please help me Touma… So scared… Can't see… Too much pain… Touma, where are you? I should have told you… coward… Hurts… I'll be good, I'll be good…**

And suddenly, the pairs of hands disappeared. Well, all but one. They hand held him, they didn't feel like pain. They seemed so familiar and so gentle. He could feel himself being rocked back and forth, a soothing motion that confused him. Who would do this? Who was helping him? Who had saved him and taken away the pain?

He could feel a friendly aura surrounding the hands that held him so close. It was such a familiar aura, a pretty dark blue. **Touma? **_He couldn't believe it. Touma had come, he'd saved him from HIM. The one he loved had actually rescued him. The hands didn't leave and he actually didn't care. He felt safe with those hands holding him, protecting him from the _**other **_hands that wanted to cause him only pain. _

He tried to force himself to get up, to be able to see that it was in fact Touma, who was shielding him, but it was soo difficult. He felt so tired and part of him wanted to go back to sleep. But he had to see Touma! He had to tell him before it was too late! He didn't want to lose the hands that embraced him, he had to tell Touma how he truly felt. His resolve deepened and he felt himself leaving the darkness. It wasn't able to hold him any longer. He slowly opened his eyes and squinted from the bright lights…

*****

Touma continued to hold Seiji, rocking him gently in his arms, wary of all the IVs and cords connected into the blonde. He'd been shocked to feel a surge of pain through the link and had known it was Seiji. He'd ran as fast as he could back to the room, only to bump into a nurse. She told he that Seiji had gone into a fit during a nightmare and kept crying for him.

He rushed into the room to find the blonde being held down by three male nurses and still twisting and screaming, tears running down his face and a faint whimpered word coming from his lips that sounded like it was being choked from his throat. _T-Touma-ma._ He called off the orderlies and climbed into the bed himself, pulling Seiji into his arms. He rocked him as he was now, whispering soothing words to him in hopes of calming him down. To his relief it had worked, the blonde wasn't crying and the whimpers had become soft, yet shaky breaths.

" It's okay Seiji, it's all over," he told him once again. " He's not going to hurt anymore." All, but one of the nurses left, knowing that the situation had been dealt with accordingly. Touma didn't even noticed. He just kept rocking the swordsman in his arms.

" I'll be right back," the last nurse assured him, giving him a faint grateful smile. Then she departed as well, going to wait for the blonde's parents, who were returning after finding a hotel for the night. They had been more than shocked to hear that their son had been raped and was in the hospital for extreme blood loss and other injuries. Touma had barely spoken to them at all, having left the room when they arrived and only being told that they would return after finding a decent hotel to sleep at for the night. Touma had understood what that was like.

The mansion was now a crime scene and Ryo had rented a room at a hotel a block away for Shin and Shu to use when they got back into town just three hours before. They had spent a while at the hospital with Touma and Ryo, but had decided to go before they caused too much trouble for the orderlies on the floor. They were tired from driving as it was and needed the sleep. Ryo had only left to get Nasuti and make sure Byakuen got to his grandfather's. 

The archer still didn't understand why the police had been so lenient with Ryo over his tiger attacking HIM. But it was probably because of the what had been done to Seiji. The two officers that had come to talk to him had been furious at what had been done to the blonde, he could see it in their eyes. They wouldn't have cared even if Williams had been killed by the enraged feline.

He felt a shift in the weight he held and looked down. Pale eyes were squinting up at him from under golden-tipped eyelashes and he felt his breath catch for a moment. " Seiji?" he whispered.

The blonde's eyes slowly opened wider, becoming use to the brightness of the lights. He just stared at Touma and the blue-haired boy could tell something was missing. Before he had always thought that a small part of Seiji's soul had been taken away, he believed by harsh parenting. Though now he knew it was not his parents, but Jack Williams, that had torn the blonde's spirit and as he stared at him then he could tell that there was barely anything left.

" How are you feeling?" he asked as he slowly lowered the boy back down onto the bed. Seiji shook his head and clung to him, refusing to let go. He opened his mouth, but only a raspy intelligible sound emitted from it. That's when he began coughing uncontrollably. He clutched his chest and wheezed, trying to stable himself.

Touma quickly removed himself from the blonde's side, careful of the wires and tubes, and rushed to the bathroom. Water could be heard and he returned with a paper cup full of water. He slowly held to Seiji's mouth and allowed him to drink until the cup was empty. He moved the cup away and sat it on the table by the bed. As he turned he felt a hand grasp his arm tightly.

He looked back quickly and Seiji was indeed holding his arm desperately. He was trying to sit up, but continued to wince at the pain that radiated through him. He shifted so that he was pretty much on his side, but still his grip didn't lessen. Touma just stared at his eyes, attempting to figure out the pleading look in their violet depths. He placed his hand on the one that clung to him and he felt the hold decrease. Before he could speak a shout came from the doorway.

" Seiji!" The blonde's head spun towards the exclamation of his name. His eyes seemed to stare in confusion at the sight of the man and woman in his doorway. The light brown-haired man seemed to stare at him with a hidden emotion deep in his eyes and the black-haired woman had tears ready to cascade down her cheeks.

" My Gods," the woman stepped one foot into the room before rushing to the side of the blonde's bed. Seiji stared at her with wide, disbelieving eyes as she took his hand. " Oh, my little boy…" she whispered.

Seiji stilled stared at her in shock and Touma knew that it was time for him to leave. He gently tried to remove Seiji's hand from his arm, but the grip only tightened. Korin's eyes turned to him, the pleading look in them still there. " I have to go Seiji," the archer told him. " I will be back later."

But the grip still did not lessen. The blonde still just stared at him, refusing to let him leave. The woman, Seiji's mother, watched this with curious eyes. She knew that Touma was the one that had rescued her son, but she was confused as to why, when Seiji had finally regained consciousness, the blonde was so insistent on him staying. _Does he know that it was this boy that rescued him?_ she wondered. _Or is there something more between them?_

She hadn't missed the way Touma had been so gentle and careful with her son while he had still been sedated, the affectionate look in his eyes as he kept up his silent vigil. If there was not something deeper between them, the blue-haired boy surely wanted something more. _I know that Father might not approve of such a coupling,_ she thought with a slight sigh in her chest, _but I can see that he might be just what my little samurai needs to heal his wounds._

" Maybe you should stay, I'm sure the staff won't mind," she told him. It had been a shock to find out that her old friend, Hino Maika, had taken care of Seiji's injuries. But she also knew that she would be able to convince her to allow more than just two people to see her son at a time. Not to mention from what she was seeing as of now, Touma would be there most of the time to watch over the blonde when she or his father couldn't.

" But, I know you probably…" Touma glanced between the still silent man near the door, Seiji's father, his mother, and then Seiji himself. He had thought that the swordsman's parents would want private time with their son, but now he was becoming confused.

" I believe Seiji would prefer it if one of his friends were here as well," his father finally spoke. Touma turned to Seiji and could see the look of agreement in pale violet depths. The blonde truly didn't want him to leave. He wanted him to stay even though his parents were there. Korin was not one to talk much about himself and it was strange for him to want one of his friends in the same room when his parents were around.

" All right," Touma agreed and sat back down in the chair next to Seiji's bed. The blonde seemed more relaxed and at ease now that he knew that Touma wasn't trying to leave him alone with his parents. He didn't want Touma to go anywhere. He couldn't bear it if he lost the archer now. He needed him more than he'd ever needed anything else in his life.

His throat was beginning to burn and he needed water. He wanted to speak, but knew that would only make it worse than it already was. He stared at the cup that Touma had set and on the table and tried to think of a way to let them know what he needed that wouldn't need his voice. That's when he saw the pen and white napkins on the table. He guessed they'd been from someone eating, probably Touma himself if Shu was no where around. He let go of the archer's arms finally and reached for the pen, ignoring the pain that streak throughout his body. He could not show weakness, not when his parents were there.

" What is it Seiji?" Touma asked. He could see that the blonde's eyes were targeted onto something that was on the table. He noticed the empty up of water, the leftover napkins from when Ryo had come with food (none of which he ate), and the pen Doctor Hino had left earlier. _Is he thirsty?_ He wondered.

" Are you thirsty?" Touma asked. Seiji wanted to smile, but didn't feel like he had the strength to do so. His wrists burned for some reason and now he realized that he wouldn't need the napkins or pen. Touma knew him better than anyone else. Slowly he nodded and the archer picked up the cup once again. He walked towards the bathroom, but Mr. Date stopped him.

" I shall go and request a pitcher of water for him," he told him. With that he walked out of the room. Touma didn't miss the slight look of relief from something in the older man's eyes as he left. He still went to the bathroom and filled the paper cup once again with the cold liquid for the blonde until his father returned.

He reentered the room and sat back down next to the blonde, the cup in his own hand. He used his other to help Seiji, noticing the strained look of pain that crossed the blonde's features every time he moved. He could also tell that he was trying to hide it, trying to not show pain in the presence of his mother.

The blonde's eyes showed gratitude that almost made Touma want to grin like a silly schoolgirl who had be kissed on the cheek by their favorite movie star. He held the cup to Seiji's mouth and allowed him to drink until he began to pull away. Acknowledging that he was done, the blue-haired boy set the cup on the table and helped the blonde to sit in a comfortable position on the bed. Mrs. Date watched all of this silently, trying to hide the small smile that was forming on her lips.

" That better?" Touma asked. Seiji nodded before turning to look at his mother. She could see an apology and a hidden look of shame in his pale violet eyes.

" It's all right Seiji," she stepped closer to the bed again and placed a hand on his own that lay inert on the bed. " We were told by the both the police and hospital when they called us to inform us of your condition. We know what happened." 

Tears began to fall from her eyes that were clearly seen by her son and his companion. She then kneeled down on the floor by the bed and held her son's hand in hers, grasping it tenderly against he cheek. " I'm so sorry Seiji," she apologized. " I should have known that something was wrong. I should have known what a monster he was, I should have protected you!"

She continued to sob and the blonde could only stare in disbelief. His mother didn't cry, she didn't break down, or beg for forgiveness, especially with a practical stranger in the room with her. It wasn't her fault what had happened to him, he was a bad boy, he had been punished. His mother shouldn't have cried over what he had done. He couldn't bear to see her crying over him, not when it was his fault.

He clasped his hand around her smaller, more slender fingers and shook his head at her. She stared at him through tear-soaked eyes. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and pulled on her hand, telling her to stand up. Understanding the meaning of his actions, Mrs. Date did stand and yet still couldn't stop the tears from falling.

" Please Seiji, don't be like this," his mother pleaded. " Be angry, turn away from me, don't just try to wipe away my tears! I failed you! Can't you see that?"

Seiji would have smiled if he hadn't felt so tired. He knew that he was most like his mother in many aspects of his attitude, the rest being like his father and grandfather. She always felt it was her fault if something went wrong within her family because she was the head woman of their household. She was suppose to make sure that nothing bad happened within the walls of her home and now she knew that something had indeed happened, and to her own child. Now she felt responsible even though Seiji knew it was actually his fault and no one else's. She was the 'Ryo' of his family.

" Kita?" Seiji's father watched them from the doorway once again, a plastic pitcher of water in his one hand. His wife stared at him for a moment before quickly wiping his cheeks to get rid of the evidence of her breakdown. But Mr. Date merely ignored the tears and walked in, setting the pitcher on the table. He then turned to his son. " I told Dr. Hino that you were awake and she will be coming shortly to examine you," he stated.

Seiji had always been a little apprehensive at the mention of a doctor coming to do anything to him, let alone examining his injuries from rape. He hated doctors and hospitals because there were drugs everywhere in the buildings. He hated drugs and hated how doctors would poke and prod you with things just to see what could have made you ill.

He didn't want to be there. He just wanted to go home and go back to acting like none of this ever happened. But he knew he couldn't forget now, he wouldn't be allowed to. His friends and family all knew now, he couldn't escape the memories that he knew they would want him to recall. They'd want him to remember every touch, every bite, and every mark that Jack had ever left on him. He didn't want to remember, didn't want to even think about it.

" Seiji?" Touma's voice brought him out of his reverie before he could delve any farther into his own memories of the events that had brought him to where he was. He noticed that a woman wearing a white doctor's coat with black hair pulled up in a bun was standing next to him.

" Hello Seiji, I am Doctor Hino," she greeted him. " Now I need to run a few tests to see how you are recovering." She then turned her eyes on the three other occupants of the room. " But I will need you three to leave."

The blonde didn't want to be left in the room with a doctor. He still didn't trust her, not matter how nice she seemed. He didn't trust anyone who had access to the large amounts of drugs and medications that there were in hospitals. He turned his eyes to Touma once more and hesitated to take his hand. He truly didn't want Touma to leave, but he also didn't want him to see the damage that had been done by Jack.

__

What will he say if he sees? He wondered. It was a straining conflict within his mind. To hold onto Touma for comfort and protection or try to hide all of the evidence of what had been done to him from the one he loved. He could feel something telling him to ask Touma to stay, to not be left alone, but he wasn't sure of Touma's feelings besides what Ryo had told him the day before, before everything had gone wrong. _He might not even want me now that he knows…_

" Seiji, are you all right?" Touma asked him again, placing a hand over his own. The blonde turned to stare into his eyes and could see the concern, the sadness, and something else that he hoped was more than just his own heart projecting in their midnight depths. Right then he decided that he didn't care if the archer didn't love him or hated him for what had happened, just as long as he stayed with him long enough to make him feel safe.

The blonde turned his hand so that he could hold Touma's as well. He tried to get the other boy to understand, tried to let him see how much he needed him through his eyes. He was only vaguely aware of his mother and father walking out of the door.

" Excuse me, Mr. Hashiba, but you'll have to leave as well," Dr. Hino told him. Seiji's eyes widened a little and he shook his head. He didn't want to be left alone with this woman!

Hino could see the fear and desperation in her patient's eyes. He didn't want the boy, Touma, to leave. He was grasping his hand tightly and staring at her with a look of question in his eyes. She didn't understand why he seemed so scared, but she guessed that he didn't want to be left alone with anyone without someone he knew nearby. Many victims of rape had the same fear.

It also concerned her that he hadn't spoken yet. It meant that his throat had been harmed like she had first suspected. It would not allow him to speak for quite some time. She gave Touma a questioning look. The boy seemed to understand, " He doesn't like most doctors."

His answer seemed to clear up more of her questions. " Well, I guess it is his wish for you to remain in the room," she replied. " But it would be best if you didn't watch."

Touma looked down at Seiji, " It that all right?" The blonde nodded. " But you're gonna have to let go of my hand Seiji. I'm not leaving, but I need to back up so that the doctor can do her job. She only wants to help you get better."

Korin stared at him doubtingly, but he could see the sincerity in those midnight blue eyes. Touma wasn't going to abandon him. He accepted his word and slowly let go of the blue-haired boy's hand. He watched as he merely backed up a few steps until he was against the wall. He wasn't going anywhere.

" Now I need you full attention Seiji," Doctor Hino told him. The blonde turned back to her and nodded in compliance.

Touma watched as the doctor began her examination, but couldn't keep his eyes on them. She had undone the blonde's hospital gown and was checking the bruises on his sides and back. Seiji was wincing with every movement he made and the archer knew it was hurting him to comply with her simple requests. But something stood out to Touma as he stared at the profile of Seiji. 

There was a dark black mark on his neck that he hadn't noticed before. It was round, near perfectly circular. It reminded him of a burn mark his father had left on their couch when he'd been living at home. The scientist had fallen asleep while smoking and Touma had rushed in just in time to save their mansion-like apartment from burning down. Luckily, all that had been marred was the couch, a small circular burn left on one of the couch cushions.

The blonde turned away from him and he could see two more marks identical to the one on his neck if only a little smaller on his shoulder, right at the juncture between his neck and shoulder blade, and one the first vertebrae below his neck. Touma felt the rage he had tried to hide through most the day returning as he saw some of the damage done to Seiji. The bruises on his face, the marks on his back, the burn marks of his ankles and wrists; all of them made him want to kill Williams himself. He wasn't so sure now that he should have stopped Byakuen or told Ryo not to do as he pleased.

" Mr. Hashiba?" Dr. Hino looked at him. " I'm going to close the curtain now so that I can finish my examination."

" I'll be right here Seiji," Touma kept his eyes on the blonde. " I'm not going anywhere." Seiji seemed unsure for a moment before nodding weakly to him. He knew it was for the best. He didn't want Touma to see what else had been done to him. Dr. Hino almost sighed before pulling the curtain around herself and her patient.

Touma closed his eyes and felt tears coming forth. He'd barely cried the entire time since he'd found Seiji in the clutches of that monster, but now everything was becoming too much. He had never seen Seiji so helpless and vulnerable, much like a small child. The blonde had never clung to him or anyone before like he had been doing so far today. He'd been trying to tell Touma something, that much he was sure of, but he couldn't figure out what that something was.

__

Were they telling the truth? He wondered. _Does he actually care about me? Is that why he wanted me to stay instead of one of his parents? Gods, Seiji even if it's true, how can you ever want a relationship with anyone? You probably won't want anything to do with me now._

It was nearly fifteen minutes later that the curtain was pushed back up against the wall. Dr. Hino had a look of rage in her eyes and Seiji was sleeping soundly it seemed, the blonde's breaths even and the pain gone from his features. " Well?" Touma asked her.

" This is something I have to talk about with is parents," she told him. " I can tell he means a great deal to you and he trusts you, but that decision is out of my hands." The archer nodded in understanding as she walked out of the room. He then immediately went back to his seat next to the blonde's bed and took one of his hands in his own.

" I'm not going to leave you alone Seiji," he promised. " I'll stay right here with you until you're okay again, not matter how long that is." He then used his free hand to pull something from his pocket. He smiled at the green orb of Korin. " Maybe this will help you a little now that you are a bit stronger than you were last night." 

He slid the orb into the blonde's loose grip and could feel it react to the blonde's touch. It seemed that Korin had been concerned about its bearer as well. Touma knew that Seiji was still too weak to call upon its healing powers and settled for sending small amounts of Tenku's energy into the mystical crystal. He hoped that it would help Korin in healing its bearer faster.

*****

" Is he going to be all right, Maika?" Mrs. Date questioned. " I could have stayed through the examination."

" Most patients in his predicament don't want their parents in the room," she explained. " I was a little surprised that he was so insistent on the other boy being in there. But he told me that Seiji has a problem with doctors. Is that true?"

" Hai," his mother nodded. " He was very sick when he was little and had to take medications and go to the hospital very often for check-ups and the like. That's why I became his doctor when he was five."

" Well, I was able to put a tranquilizer in his IV so he should be asleep for a few hours," Dr. Hino told them. " He'd had a nightmare before you came and had tore some of his stitches but I redid them. If he remains in bed for a few days and doesn't try to do anything harder than going to the bathroom, that would be a good start to his recovery. But I'm worried about his mental and emotional condition at the moment. That's why I will be requesting a therapist to see him after he is released."

Mrs. Date took in the information gradually. She too, believed that a therapist would be of some help to her son. She knew he would never talk about it to anyone that he knew so maybe a perfect stranger that could not speak about it to anyone else would be better. She was slightly concerned that her husband had barely spoken at all the entire time, but she knew that he was feeling the guilt and blame worse than anyone else was. Williams had been his friend since college, he had never even believed he was capable of such things.

" Is there anything else we need to do or should know?" she asked Maika Hino.

" Only that he not be left alone," she replied. " Rape victims are most likely to have panic attacks or flashbacks frequently in the first few weeks or even months after being assaulted. He should stay around someone's he's comfortable with for a while, at least until the therapist feels that otherwise."

" Ren?" she turned to her husband. " I don't think we should take him home."

" What?!" he stared at her, finally showing some sign of even listening to the conversation. " Why not?"

" He should stay with his friends, they understand him better than we ever will," she knew of the legend of the yoroi. She even knew that the other four that lived with Seiji were the other yoroi bearers. They had a bond with her son and she knew that they would be the ones best fit to help him through the next few weeks or months if need be.

" But-" He never got the chance to dispute his wife's decision.

" Maika?" Kita gave her a silent question.

" I'll be back to check on him in a while," she understood what was taking place. She gave a reassuring smile to her old friend before exiting down the brightly lit hall.

" Why can't he come home?" Mr. Date asked his wife.

" Because we've failed him Ren," she replied, tears in her eyes. " We didn't help him, didn't do anything to stop this. We didn't want to see that something was wrong, that he was crying out for help. I can't imagine him ever wanting to live with us ever again! I mean, I was his doctor and yet I didn't even see the signs. I didn't see that anything was wrong!"

He could see that his wife was deeply distressed with how they had failed their son over the years. Her shame, remorse, and pain were written clearly on her face. But he knew it wasn't her fault, it was his own. He had refused to see that anything was wrong, refused to understand why his old friend seemed so interested in his son. He thought it was because he had no children of his own and had always wanted a son. He never believed such a thing would ever happen.

__

I failed him, not her, he told himself. _I allowed this to happen and I shall have to live with knowing that for the rest of my life. _Mr. Date then thought of what his wife had said. She was right, the four boys and that woman did know he son better than anyone else, even his family. They had been there for him for three years so far and they took care of him better than he had.

" Yes," he sighed. " He will need them. And it seems he will need that boy, Touma, most of all."

" You saw it as well?" she asked.

He nodded before running his hand through light brown bangs that had fallen into his eyes. " I always knew that Seiji wasn't be interested in girls. He has always had a terrible fear of them. But I do believe that this Touma seems to care for our son, even if Seiji doesn't know it yet."

" Then he can go home with his friends?" she asked, just to make sure.

" Yes, they'll help him better than we can," he nodded to her before pulling her to him for a small hug, a simple action meant to comfort her. " He'll be all right, he's a fighter." _And Jack will pay. I might not be able to take back what I've done, but he will pay for what he's done to Seiji. I'll do everything I can to make sure of it, even if I have to take the law into my own hands._

****

A/N: How was that?

JC: Jen knows that most of ya wanted to see Seiji hating his parents, but I just couldn't see hi doing it. 

Catherine: She sees Seiji as being the kind of person that takes the blame for anything that happens to himself. He wouldn't blame his parents of anyone else.

Kathrine: Now, Jack Williams will pay. You'll just have to wait to see how. (Smirks maniacally.)

JC: Review!


	8. Chapter7 Nightmare Shared By Coincidence

****

A/N: Wow! We're really updating early this time!

Kathrine: Me and Jen just couldn't help but finish another chapter, seeing as it's coming to an end.

JC: Yep, people. The Epilogue is next.

Kathrine: We hope that you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was the fastest chapter fic I've ever wrote.

JC: Editing might be a little shoddy cause they just finished it tonight.

Kathrine: Expect a few more updates over the next week because we just entered Spring Break.

JC: VACATION!! ^_^

Kathrine: Hope you like this. There's a twist at the end.

Disclaimer: I hate this part. !_!

Warnings: Angst, A little Fluff, Bad Dreams, Somewhat character death, Yaoi/Shounen Ai, and anything else we haven't mentioned. 

__

Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Kathrine and Jennifer

(editing shoddy)

****

Chapter 7 – Nightmare Shared by Coincidence…or is it?

The next four days went by in a blur for Seiji. He spent most of the time sleeping, no doubt drugged by Doctor Hino. He couldn't even remember the nightmares that he continued to have. But he was glad that Touma was there the entire time, his family having left so that his grandfather wouldn't be forced the take care of the dojo on his own. Touma had stayed by his side through everything. Even when he would awake in a cold sweat with no recollection as of why he was so afraid, Touma was there to comfort him.

But now he was sitting on the passenger side of his own green BMW, being driven towards home, the Koji manor. The others had come to see him often now that the roads were cleared from the hated storm. They were very supportive and yet seemed so cautious around him, as if he was going to shatter like cracked wineglass. The blonde hated the treatment, but wasn't actually sure if he hadn't been broken already.

Shu hadn't even been able to touch his shoulder without him stiffening, a reflex that was now refined as it had been so many years before. No one, save Touma, could touch him without him having some sort of negative reaction, though none of it was intended. Dr. Hino had said it was normal, that he would react strangely until he began to heal. Even so, Seiji couldn't help but feel like an important part of himself had died and he couldn't get it back.

All if his masks were gone, burned away by HIM. He couldn't hide how he felt, the scared part of himself he had pushed into the back of his mind for so long. How he wanted to kill Jack, not for raping him and stripping him of his innocence continually for so many years, but for turning him into something he hated. He knew he wasn't the strong, mature, calm, reserved swordsman he'd been trained to be anymore. He had looked in the mirror of the hospital bathroom before he and Touma had left and couldn't even think of a name to describe what he'd become.

" Seiji?" Touma's voice called to him from outside the car. " We're home." The blonde stared at him and could only muster a weak smile to reassure his friend that he was all right. But he wasn't all right, and he might not ever be again. His throat was still scratched and bruised and he wasn't allowed to speak for another five days, though he knew Korin would have him healed before then. The blue-haired boy still sensed his distress even so and extended his hand to help him out of the car.

The swordsman shook his head in refusal of his assistance and placed a paler than normal hand on the frame of the car door. He was thankful for his winter coat and also the long black sleeves of the turtleneck he wore for it covered everything. It hid the bruises and scars on his wrists without hurting them like his button-up shirts would with their buttoned cuffs and also hid the burn mark he had found was on his neck while he'd been in the bathroom one day. He could still vaguely feel the sense of burning on his sensitive neck and the grinding of something into his throat.

Ignoring the flashback, Seiji slowly stepped out of the car, wincing at the stinging pain down his spine. He was still very sore and Doctor Hino had told him to lie down as much a possible. She didn't want him to aggravate his stitches for the sixth time in a row. He though she was going overboard, but didn't argue. It wasn't like he could yell at her and he wasn't up to trying to reconstruct his cold-hearted masks.

" You okay with coming home, Seiji?" Touma asked him truthfully. He wasn't going to beat around the bush, it would be unfair to the blonde.

Using his usual answer, Seiji just nodded at him and slowly walked towards the front door. Touma just walked next to him. They had just about reached the stairs when the door opened and Shin's face appeared. " Welcome home," the auburn-haired boy smiled at his fellow yoroi bearers.

Seiji gave him a small smile as well before beginning his trek up the five steps that seemed more like fifty. They knew not to help him, he'd already made that perfectly clear at the hospital. If he hadn't held up his silent, yet obvious, protest Shu would have no doubt carried him to the car and then into the house. Luckily, he had been able to convince them to go home and let Touma bring him home on his own. He had lost too much of his pride and dignity already.

It hurt, climbing up stairs that he'd been able to jump all five at once only a school week before and now he could barely walk up them one by one. It was pitiful and he hated it. Seiji didn't want to be a scared invalid. He had to start doing things for himself again. He refused to let him friends care for him like some injured child. He hadn't been a true child since he was five.

Nothing seemed different inside the hall, even though he felt he was staring out at the world with alien eyes. To the blonde, nothing was the same though it did look that way. Now he looked at things as he did as a child, with thoughts and memories of HIM around every corner. Shin let him pass, hiding a look of sadness in his eyes.

" Do you need anything?" Suiko asked, just to make sure. Seiji shook his head as a negative. All he wanted to do was sleep and act like nothing ever happened. He was home now and he just wanted to forget. Maybe if he forgot, they everyone would quit pitying him and let him go on with his life. He took off his coat slowly and trudged over to the closet and put it inside, Touma following his example. Looking around, he noticed that Ryo, Shu, and Nasuti weren't around.

" Nasuti was called in by the university for school starting back up in two days, Shu and Ryo decided to go shopping for this week's groceries," Shin told him as if he'd read his mind. Seiji was relieved by the report. He didn't want them there to pity him and treat him like a child.

He felt a slight nudge against his leg and looked down. Byakuen was staring up at him with curious, yet worried eyes. Touma had told him that Byakuen had helped to rescue him and that HE was in the jail infirmary from the tiger's attack. He lowered his hand and scratched the feline behind the ears gently. The tiger took this as a good sign and let out a low purring noise.

The blonde released a small, nearly unheard sigh before turning his head towards the stairs. They seemed so much longer and more spaced out than before. He knew it was merely his mind reacting to the weakened state of his body. But he wasn't about to let his own body take away what was left of his pride and dignity.

" You can stay down…" Shin started but the blonde put up a hand to cut him off. He shook his head once more and forced himself to walk to the stairs and begin his journey to the summit.

" But the doctor said…" Shin was once again interrupted, but this time by Touma as the archer placed a comforting hand o his shoulder.

" He won't listen," the blue-haired boy told him. " He needs to do this, to feel like he is still the old Seiji. We just have to make sure he doesn't go overboard and try to start training with his sword." With that he waited at the bottom the stairs, keeping an eye on the blonde. It was some time before Seiji reached the to of the stairs, but Touma knew that the swordsman was proud of himself for accomplishing it.

It was then that Touma realized that Seiji would go to their old room, Ryo and Shu having moved all their things to the largest guestroom. Immediately, he rushed up the stairs to stop him but found the blonde merely staring at the closed door from two yards away, only a few inches from the stairs. His hands clenched somewhat and the archer could see a slight tremble in his body.

" Seiji?" Touma tried to get his attention, but the blonde didn't even acknowledge his presence. He moved so that he was standing beside Seiji, facing his profile. He could see a strange far off look in the blonde's one visible eye. " Come on Seiji, our room is…" the blonde ignored him and stepped towards the door. He extended his hand in a motion to touch the doorknob, but stopped only centimeters from the round gold knob.

Seiji was staring at the door to his room, different thoughts jumbling together and melding in his mind. He couldn't make out any one of them, they were all so cluttered. _You're so weak,_ he berated himself. _Getting scared over a bedroom? Pathetic._ He didn't hear Touma even though he was standing right next to him, his mind turned in on itself. He moved towards the door, steeling himself to combat against the memories and negative reactions. He was Date Seiji, he couldn't allow himself to be scared I such a way.

His hand was almost on the knob, on moments away from opening the door, and he stopped. _/ Are you scared Seiji? …tears are so pretty…such a pretty demon…bad boy… bad boys need to be punished…/_ He could hear HIM in his mind, Jack's words stinging into him over and over as if he was being violated once more. He could see him in his mind, looming over him, smirking, caressing his cheek, smacking him, and pulling on the ropes tied to his ankles. He couldn't get the images out of his mind.

Before he realized it, tears were streaming down his cheeks and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. _Leave me alone, _he begged the images. _Get out of my head, GET OUT!! _Suddenly, he legs couldn't support him anymore and he tried to remain standing, but fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself and cried, hating how weak he was.

" Seiji!" Touma rushed to the blonde side, not knowing exactly what to do. _It's too soon,_ he realized. _He can't deal with this now!_ Lowering himself down next to his friend, he did the only thing he could think to do. He hesitantly reached out and pulled the blonde into his arms. He almost stopped when he felt Seiji stiffen partially but then continued until he held the blonde against his chest.

" It's all right Seiji," Touma assured him in a soothing voice. " You don' have to do this now, you need time. Our room is down the hall now in the old guestroom. You don't have to go near this room until your ready." He moved his arms so that one was under the blonde's knees and the other at his back and stood up, knowing that Seiji was in now state to argue with him.

He turned around and carried the blonde down to the farthest door from the stairs, pushing it open and going in. Seiji seemed to calm down a little with Touma's comforting embrace and stared at the room in confusion. It looked identical to his and Touma's other room, from his bonsai tree on the desk by the window and Touma's star charts on the walls. The only differences were that the walls were a dark blue color instead of steel gray and the sheets on the bed that he thought to be his were dark gold and yellow rather than dark green and black.

" We wanted you to feel like things weren't so different," Touma explained as he lowered the blonde onto his bed. Seiji stared at him for a second before looking up at the ceiling, giving a smile at the familiar glow-in-the-dark star stickers. He felt the archer remove his shoes and stared at him in confusion. Touma just smiled at him and covered him from the waist down with the blanket that had been folded at the bottom of his bed.

" You need to rest," he told him. " Doctor's orders." He began to back away, but Seiji reached out and grabbed his arm. Touma sighed at the familiar action. " I'm just getting your painkillers, no matter what you say you need them."

" Here they are," Shin was in the doorway, two small white pills, a glass, and a pitcher of water in tow. He entered the room and set the pitcher and glass on the blonde's nightstand. He then poured a glass of water and handed it to the blonde along with the painkillers. " They will help you sleep," Shin reasoned.

Seiji sighed and reluctantly took the pills, putting them in his mouth and then drinking the entire glass of water. He hadn't even realized how thirsty he was. Shin chuckled lightly and poured him another glass, ignoring the look on the blonde's face that said 'I can pour my own water.' Seiji did take the offered drink and drank half the glass, put the cup back on the table himself.

" Now rest," Shin ordered before leaving the room.

__

He acts like I've go the flu, he almost snorted. But he then realized that Touma was moving over to his side of the room. He'd been trying to tell the archer something all day, but he couldn't figure out how to put it. _I'm not worthy of him,_ he told himself repeatedly._ How can he love someone so tainted and impure? He deserves someone who won't start crying whenever someone tries to touch him. He shouldn't have to settle for me._

That's when the thought occurred to him. _What if he doesn't want me? What if I've just been thinking about this the wrong way and he never wanted me in the first place? What if Ryo was wrong? How could he want me? To them I've always seemed cold and distant, hiding behind my masks. But now they all know the truth, not even my masks can help me now._ He pulled the orb of Korin from his pocket and stared at it, pulling small amounts of its healing energy to soothe his sore throat.

Touma felt the disturbance in link as the blonde slightly healed himself. But what he'd forgotten is that by using the orb, he opened his emotions up to any of the others if they were nearby. The archer could feel Seiji's self-revulsion and low self-esteem. He could tell that the swordsman was feeling hatred towards himself wanted to do anything to ease his thoughts.

__

But I just can't touch him or else he'll reject me, Touma felt his hopes of every being with the blonde fall. But he knew that Seiji still needed him for comfort and at that moment more than before. He got up from his bed and walked over to Korin's side of the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

" What is it Seiji?" he asked, wondering if the blonde could tell him let alone want to. " You know I'll here for you right? Me and the others are gonna help you through this." It saddened him further when his friend said nothing. He slowly stood and decided that maybe the blonde didn't want to talk to him. He was about to return to his side of the room when he heard a somewhat harsh and unused voice call out to him.

" T-tou-toum-a…" Seiji spoke his name in a strangled tone. He didn't want Touma to be upset with him. He just didn't know how to express what he was feeling.

" What's wrong?" he asked him. "You're not supposed to use your voice."

The blonde shook his head, not caring about the doctor's words. He looked up from his position on the bed and stared straight into two midnight blue eyes. He could feel part of himself begging him to go on and tell Touma how he felt. But he knew he couldn't. He wasn't ready for that big a step yet, just like he was unable enter his old room. But he did know something he was ready for.

" H-hold-d m-m-me-ee," Seiji asked in a whispered voice. " P-pl-plea-ease-se."

Touma didn't know exactly how to respond. He could tell that Seiji was still afraid, it was in his eyes. Even so, he knew it had taken most of his strength t make such a request. He remained silent for a while longer and could see the hurt disappointment in the blonde's one visible eye. He didn't want to be the cause of any more of Seiji's pain.

He immediately removed his shoes and sat down on the bed closer to the headboard. He extended his arms and slowly wrapped them around the blonde, much like he'd done in the hallway on a short while before. Seiji seemed tense, but began t relax in his hold, lowering his head so that it lay against the blue-haired boy's shoulder. Touma scooted farther onto the bed and pulled the blonde more on top of him, wary of his still sore body. He then laid down and ran a hand through golden tresses.

" Just sleep now," he instructed. " You need to rest. I'll watch you."

He could see gratitude in a pale violet eye that was slowly becoming glazed from the effects of his painkillers. He knew the blonde was exhausted as it was and his emotional distress and using Korin had only quickened their reactions in his body. Seiji kept his head on Touma's shoulder and took in a deep breath through his nose like the doctor had told him to, reveling in the archer's scent. But all too soon he felt the grips of his medication taking over and pulling him into the realm of dreams.

Touma watched as sleep overcame his secret love and smiled slightly at the peaceful expression on his face. He would do anything for the blonde to look so innocent and content when he was awake as well. He wanted to stay awake, to watch over Seiji in case his nightmares returned but he couldn't. He was drained mentally and physically from remaining by his friend's side. He knew Seiji would be upset if he knew how terribly Touma was taking care of himself, but all that mattered to him was making that the blonde recovered completely. Unable to deny his tired body the joys of sleep any longer, he too was pulled into a peaceful slumber.

*****

__

Touma was somewhere cold, extremely cold. He couldn't see anything in the darkness. **How did I get here?**_ He wondered._ **Where is here? **_That's when he saw a small sliver of light from a crack in what he believed to be a window or wall. The light was dim and seemed to have sought out a particular area in the room. It was a corner on the opposite side of the room where a small form lay huddled and shivering._

****

It's a kid?_ Touma stared at the child, unable to see anything besides his back as he was facing the wall with his head burrowed in his knees. " Hey kid? What's wrong?" he asked, stepping closer to the smaller form. The turned around and looked at him in confusion. Pale violet eyes stared at him in shock from beneath golden locks. _

****

Oh Gods…_ " Seiji?" Touma whispered in disbelief. This couldn't be the Seiji he knew. This boy could only be eleven or twelve at the most. But the eyes were the same, they were just as scared and vulnerable as he had seen his Seiji's as of late._

" Who are you? Where did you come from?" the little boy asked him. " No one's supposed to come down here."

" I'm Touma," the archer replied. **He doesn't remember me because he hasn't met me yet**_, Touma guessed. " I came to keep you company."_

" N-no!" the blonde shook his head. " I'm sorry, I'll be good. I wasn't trying to be bad! Gomen nasai!" The boy lowered his head and huddled deeper into the corner, trying to hide himself from the older boy.

" Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Touma told him, hating how scared the child Seiji was. " I just want to protect you."

" Nani?" the child didn't seem to understand. " W-why would you w-want to p-protect m-me?"

" Because I…" Touma never got to finish. He was stopped by the loud echoing sound of a lock clicking that rang throughout the room. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and could see the horror clearly in Seiji's eyes. The blonde turned to stare at him with terror written clearly on his face.

" G-get o-out! Pl-please! I don't want HIM to know you're here," the child told him and he could tell that everything was getting darker, the light fading away.

" NO!" Touma didn't know what to do. He couldn't move, couldn't reach out and pull the child to him and protect him. " SEIJI!"

****

Stop…I'm sorry…

He could hear the terrified child's voice pleading. Fear had lodge itself into his soul as well. But something was different. The fear wasn't only his own. He could even feel slightly ghosting of hands across his arms and face. It was like someone was touching him, yet couldn't actually harm him. **This is Seiji's nightmare,**he realized. **Nothing can actually hurt me because I'm not supposed to be here.**

__

/ Such a bad boy…/

****

I'll be good…

/ Little demon in disguise…/

It was getting worse. The touches burned his skin and made hi feel filthy. The voices playing as on a repeating CD. He tried to ignore, to focus on the voices so he could find Seiji, but everything was trapped in the darkness. He wanted to find Seiji, to bring his out of his nightmare, but he couldn't.

/ Don't fight it…/

****

I don't want this. Please stop…

/ Bad boy for not taking your punishment. You're only making it worse for yourself, demon…/

****

No, please, NO!

There was a sudden scream if of pain and he couldn't take it anymore. He had to do something. He felt the rage, hatred, and disgust building in him and couldn't hold it in. He couldn't keep in how much he wanted to shoot an arrow straight in HIS heart. To his surprise, he could feel the grip of a bow in his hand and an arrow between his fingertips. He didn't even think before notching the arrow and aiming it into the black void.

" STOP IT!!" he demanded. " LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Then he let the arrow fly, listening to its musical sound as it flew through non-existent air and then he watched a light appear. It was HIM, hovering over a small child who had tears streaming down his cheeks and his arm limp at his side. HE moved to stare at him and his arrow his its target dead on. It pierced what he would have believed to have been HIS heart if he actually thought that it was possible for HIM to have one.

A strangled scream was released and Touma watched as he seemed to convulsed on himself before freezing in his place. Then he watched as blood began to dribbled from his mouth and he fell over, his body began disappearing from the light and dragged into the darkness. HE screamed, trying to fight off invisible hands that were pulling at him. Even so, they held fast, pulling him down into their world of eternal torture and despair.

Abruptly, the cries ended and the darkness faded, leaving him and a broken Seiji alone in the pure white void. Touma immediately was at the child's side, cradling him to his chest and trying not to injury his broken arm any further. The child crying quietly, his body shaking terribly and his head buried in the archer's chest.

" It's okay, it's all right," Touma repeated soothing words to the boy. He rocked him gently in hopes of calming him. " He's gone now Seiji, he can't hurt you anymore. I'm here, I'll protect you from now on."

The young blonde's cries ceased and hue stared at him, eyes red and puffy. " Y-you w-will?" he asked. " HE c-can't h-hut me anym-more?"

" No, he can't," Touma assured him. " I won't let him."

" A-ari-g-gato, Touma," the blonde whispered. That's when the blue-haired boy realized that he was no longer holding a child Seiji, but the Seiji he knew and loved. He didn't know how or when the transformation had occurred, but he didn't care at that moment. He just held onto him even tighter, resting the blonde's head under his chin.

" I mean it Seiji, I'll protect you," he reassured him. " As long as you let me. I-I…I love you…" Then he kissed him gently on his brow.

He felt Seiji relax in his arms and his head rested against his shoulder much like when they had fallen asleep, before they'd been pulled into this nightmare. His eyes were half-closed a small, content smile was spreading across his lips. " Ai shiteru, Touma," he whispered before closing his eyes. Then he faded away, no longer a solid form in the archer's arms.

" Seiji?" Touma's eyes widened. " Seiji, come back!" But then everything turned from white to gray and then black, plunging him into nothingness…

*****

" …come back!" He jumped up and was hit by the sense of his head swimming and his heart racing. His eyes flashed back and forth, searching around the room until he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes turned to look into the worried tiger blues of his leader.

" Are you okay?" Ryo asked him immediately.

" So real…oh gods…Seiji…" it was then that he realized that he was no longer in the same bed as his blonde love, but in his own bed across the room. He shifted his eyes so that he could see Shin kneeling next to Seiji's bed, his hand on the blonde's forehead.

" He's okay, whatever nightmare he was having is over," the auburn-haired boy told them. he then turned to Touma. " What happened with you two?"

" The dream, no nightmare…It was real…all of it," the archer wasn't making any sense.

" Okay Touma, slow down and just tell us what you're talking about," Ryo told him. " You've got Shu downstairs freakin' out 'cause he doesn't know what's going on. I had to actually tell him to go eat something."

" Seiji didn't want to be alone," the blue-haired boy explained. " I just held him while he fell asleep…guess I fell asleep, too. Then I was in the dark, in a dream, Seiji's nightmare. I saw someone and it was Seiji, but a little Seiji from when he just a kid. Gods, he was soo scared Ryo, and he didn't know who I was and then the door opened and he told me to run…everything went dark again. Then I heard the voices, it was little Seiji and HIM, Williams. Seiji was crying and… and…, but HE wouldn't stop. Gods, he even broke his arm…"

" It's all right Touma," Shin rubbed him back soothingly. " Just try to calm down."

" But I couldn't take it Shin," he replied as he tried to catch his breath. " I could feel it, the hands on me skin, the disgust. I hated HIM, I HATED HIM for hurting Seiji. And then I…"

" You what?" Ryo asked. " What happened next?"

" I killed him. The bow and arrow appeared and I shot it right into his heart," they were worried by the way their friend's voice had become so cold and apathetic with just those two statements. He didn't seem at all upset over killing someone in a dream.

" Maybe you were close enough to be pulled into Seiji's dream through the link," Shin analyzed, not knowing if he was correct seeming as it was Touma who was usually the analyst. " The dream could be what's affecting Seiji. What happened at the end?"

" I just…" the form on the other bed stirred and he stopped. Pushing Ryo and Shin back, Touma got up and rushed to the blonde's side. He kneeled down next to the bed and took a pale hand into his own. Seiji seemed to have a peaceful look on his face, but his hair was matted with sweat, the locks actually moved from over the one side of his face, and rings under his eyes.

Eyelids fluttered before slowly opening and confused pale violet eyes stared at him. Touma understood, Seiji didn't know whether or not his dream had been real. " Yeah, it was," the blue-haired boy told him. " It was real."

Shock and relief replaced confusion and Touma couldn't help, but think of how adorable the combination looked on his still tired features. There was another expression in the blonde's eyes and Touma could now tell what it meant. It was so clear to him now that he didn't understand how he could have missed it before. He raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed it affectionately.

" I know Seiji," the archer told him with a smile. " Me too." The blonde smiled at that and closed his eyes again, not sleeping but relaxing from everything that had transpired. Neither noticed the four relieved faces that watched them.

*****

" So it's all over?" the figure asked as he watched through the balcony window.

" Iie, Yami," the white-haired figure shook his head. " He still needs to heal."

Regret could be seen in deep blue eyes. " If I had only felt something sooner, Gen," he sighed. " This might not have happened."

" It doesn't matter," the other told him with a hand on his shoulder. " Each knows how the other feels, so he can begin to put this behind him."

" And what of HIM?" anger flared once again. The wind tousled blue hair, but the winter chill went unfelt by its child.

" HE was dealt with," his companion smirked. " His punishment shall go on for as long as they allow it to."

" Good," he approved of his lover's form of justice. " We better depart before they sense us."

" Hai, we can do no more," he kissed his lover just as they disappeared in the wind, unaware of midnight blues eyes staring at them.

*****

" Arigato," Touma whispered.

" What was that?" Shin asked him as he checked to make sure Seiji hadn't aggravated his injuries.

" Huh? Oh, nothing," he shook his head with a grin on his face. " Lost it there for a minute."

" All right," the brunette let it slide before leaving the room.

****

A/N: How was that? Ya like?

JC: We know that ya want to know what happened to HIM, but you'll have ta wait 'til later on. Not too long though.

Kathrine: We're going to write the dream sequence in Seiji's POV too, though we're not posting it anywhere. We just thought we should do it. If ya want we can email it to people later on.

JC: Now please review and tell us what ya think.

Kathrine: Guess what? I just came up with a new idea for a story while sitting here right now. Unfortunately, it's not for RW. 

JC: We better get away from the computer and go do the kitchen or else it won't ever get done.

Kathrine: Ja!


	9. Epilogue Peace and Revenge

****

A/N: This is it! The last chapter of HMN!

JC: Wow, this is the quickest we've written a chapter story ever!

Kathrine: I hope that you all enjoyed this fic. We loved writing it.

JC: This is story had the best results out of any of ours.

Kathrine: I'm kinda sad to see this end. I would have loved to continue the ending a little farther. Maybe I will someday.

JC: Here yall go!

Disclaimer: WE WANT TO OWN!!! WE"LL PAY ANYTHING!!!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, NCS, and Torture of Character. The Epilogue!! We hope yall like how we dealt with HIM!

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Holiday Memories and Nightmares

Written by Jennifer and Kathrine

Epilogue – Peace and Revenge

__

Dear Journal,

__

Hey it's me again. I guess I still feel awkward about writing in this even if it has been over three months. But my therapist was right; it has helped to write how I feel down. Now I'm writing because of a very big decision that I made last week. Touma doesn't want me to, but I know it is for the best and he accepts that. I need it for my own piece of mind. I am going to visit Jack. I have to talk to him, tell him how I feel and how much he hurt me over the years. I believe that is the only way for me to actually move past this and go on with my life. 

These last three months or more have been very strange for me. I have been seeing my therapist, Doctor Ami. She's only a few years older than I am and hates for me to call her by her last name. I guess it makes her feel old, even though she's the youngest psychiatrist around. You wouldn't believe that she turned out to be Touma's cousin, would you? She still has been helping me to deal with this, telling me it's not my fault and that most victims believe that it is. Victim. I've never saw myself that way until I had to listen to her and Touma repeat it to me for almost a month straight. I always believed I deserved this, but now I guess I understand that I didn't and it wasn't something about me that caused this to happen.

Oh Touma. Gods, he's been right beside me every step of the way. He's like my ultimate pillar of strength that has yet to bend or waver. I don't think I would have made it through this without him near me. Even though I tried to push him away at first, thinking I didn't deserve him even after he told me how much he loved me. Gods, I was such a mess back then and even now I wonder why Touma didn't just give up on me. Even so, I'm glad that he didn't.

It's still a fear of mine that I'll really hurt him one day. I've read how some victims try to gain back control of their lives by hurting the people close to them and become just like their abusers. I don't want to hurt Touma, I love him too much and he's done so much for me. I keep thinking about after I'd been healed how I tried to stay away from everyone, locking myself in my room. 

Whenever someone said something to me I reacted like an enraged animal, striking out at him or her and forcing them to leave me alone. I couldn't keep in the anger, the shame. Not even Dr. Ami could help me keep the anger in check, seeing as the meetings with her weren't really helping at the time. But I didn't want them to have to deal with my anger so I stayed in my room as much as I could.

Touma didn't like it so he wouldn't leave me alone. The strange thing was that he didn't try to get me to talk. He just sat on his bed and read, the offer of comfort always there if I needed it. I knew that I actually did need someone besides Doctor Ami to talk to, but I didn't want to get anyone else involved. Touma still has a scar on his arm from when I threw my alarm clock at the large mirror above my dresser and it shattered, pieces hitting him from across the room just because of the force of my throw.

I guess that was the wake up call I needed though. I realized that Touma was going to be the one suffering if I continued to act like I was. That really shook me up because I didn't want Touma to get hurt. I wanted him to stay away, but he wouldn't. So I made a deal with him, talk to him when I felt the anger coming and try to let Doctor Ami help me, but in return he would allow me to be alone when I needed it. He still said that he got to decide when I needed to be alone. I got the short end of the deal and it ended up working out for the best anyway. I owe him for that.

It reminds me of this dream I had where I was just a child and HE was trying to hurt me again. It was like a memory, the time he'd broken my arm. But something had been different. Touma had been there and he had saved me. He had killed Jack to protect me. But then I was no longer my child self anymore and Touma was holding me, trying to soothe my tears away. And then he told me he loved me and kissed me. Sure it was on my forehead, but it was a kiss nonetheless.

I felt so tired then, like I was awake and about to fall asleep. But I wanted Touma to know first. To know that I loved him as well. I think I did say it before I passed out though, I'm not sure. But when awoke, Touma was there. The dream was still fresh in my mind and I guess his as well because he told me it was real. But how had he shared my dream? How had he gotten into my nightmare?

I'm still not sure, but I had tried to relax after that. Tried to just let him be there for me that day. I was too exhausted to do otherwise. I guess that was when all of my fears came to the front. The thoughts that I wasn't good enough for Touma, or that I would end up hurting like Jack hurt me, and even some that said Touma might actually hurt me again. Those didn't last more long because I know Touma would never intentionally hurt me, but the others left me feeling uneasy and afraid. Yes I, Date Seiji, was definitely afraid of what could happen.

I'm still glad Touma was there for me, even if I didn't want his support at the time. I still don't think I'm good enough for him, but he just frowns at me whenever I say it and goes into detail of how he's the one that's not good enough for me. I know that they're all lies, but hey, who am I to complain if I get the one person I love more than anything else in the world?

I finally went into our old room last week. It feels so strange to be in there when so many good memories are in there as well as the ones created in just that one night. My bed was stripped clean, the sheets taken into evidence, and the walls in the room were bare. The boys had indeed come in and taken everything out to redo my and Touma's new room. There were stains on the wooden floor by the window in between both side of the room. Touma had told me that was probably Jack's blood from when Byakuen had attacked him. I still owe the over grown house cat for that.

I felt very disoriented while I was in there, different memories of different events muddling in my mind at the time. I was thinking about how Touma and I used to sit out on the balcony and watch the stars, how Touma and I would read together on one of our beds when he convinced me to stay up late with him. But then the memories of what Jack did to me in that very room came back, mixing with my good memories and giving me a terrible headache. Touma had to force me to leave the room before I had another breakdown.

I guess that's why I'm going to see Jack today. I think if I can put him and what he's done to me in the past to stay than I can finally conquer my fear of that room. The boys believe it's strange that I'm more afraid about going into that room than seeing Jack. I would think the same thing if I didn't understand why. Touma understands though, he knows that the good memories we share within that room mean a lot to me. I don't want memories of Jack's abuse to ruin them. They're one of my main comforts in life. Well…besides Touma himself.

But even he and I are still going through the healing process. We still haven't made love yet because of my fears and his belief that I might have flashbacks somewhere along the way. He's right though. I still do have flashbacks, just not like right after it happened. I know that they won't go away though. Too many years to try to erase in only three months. Touma wants to be sure I'm ready when we do take the next step though and I'm willing to wait until it's time. Rushing it will only hurt our relationship more.

Mom keeps checking up on me. She writes and calls quite often. Her letters are often filled with apologies that are not needed. None of this was her fault, she just sees too much good in people and it was hard for her to believe people can hurt others the way Jack hurt me. My dad is the same way, especially with Jack being his friend for so long and the only friend from America he still had. They couldn't believe someone they saw as being in such good character could do such things. But now they know that not all people who seem good are as they appear.

I haven't heard from Grandfather yet. He seems to have distanced himself from me and my parents haven't relayed any messages from him. I hope he doesn't feel guilty as well. He didn't know this would happen. He shouldn't blame himself. I guess my entire family might just have a 'guilt complex', as Doctor Ami puts it. She thinks that it could either be hereditary or just from the way our family has raised its children over the generations.

Well, Touma's waiting for me in the doorway so I better end this now. I don't usually talk to inanimate objects, but arigato Journal. Using you has been a great help, but after today I probably won't needing you anymore. I hoping I can conquer some of my ghosts today. If it works out I'll won't have to use this again. So this is farewell.

Date Seiji

*****

Seiji set the pen in his hand back down on his desk and closed the now familiar journal with a sigh. It had both a stylized lightning bolt and arrowhead on the front in black against the marble-like green and blue background, courtesy of his artist of a boyfriend. _Thinking of which…_ The blonde turned his head towards the doorway and smiled lovingly at the blue-haired boy that was waiting for him.

" You done now?" Touma asked with mock annoyance.

" Hai," the blonde nodded. " Just had to finish my entry for the day." He then stood, wrapping his arms around the archer's waist after he walked over to desk. It was strange to finally be able to look each other straight in the eyes. The last three months had finally ended the height war of the past three and so years with a draw.

" Why didn't you wait?" Touma asked him with a motion to the notebook on the desk. " You'll probably have more to write when we get back."

Seiji turned away and picked up the journal before placing it in the one open desk door and closing it, locking it with a silver key. " No," he then replied. " I don't think I will need it anymore."

" All right," he gave in. " But we have to go now. Remember your coat."

" Yes, mother," Seiji snickered. That was what confused him sometimes about Touma. He would back off when he knew something was important or wouldn't baby him when he was sick, but then would remind him to get his coat as if he was a small child. Sometimes it annoyed him, but mostly he just found it amusing and teased him for it like now.

He grabbed his coat from their closet and followed his lover out their door. He stared at the door of the infamous 'Room' as they headed towards the stairs together. _One day I will go in there and not have an attack or deal with the memories Jack stained into the walls,_ he promised himself. _I'll be able to remember what Touma and I used to do together with HIM turning it into something ugly._

" Come on Blondie," Touma took his hand in his own.

" Hai," the blonde nodded and allowed the archer to lead him down the stairs.

" Goodbye you two," Nasuti smiled at them as she exited the living room. She then turned to give a reassuring glance to Seiji. " Good luck. Everything will probably go just fine."

" That's what I told _him_," the blonde motioned to Touma. Nasuti giggled before going into the kitchen.

" We need to leave or we never will," Seiji sighed. He was trying to hide his nervousness at the thought of going to see Jack. He knew that there was nothing to actually fear and he had used that to play the strong one when Touma had said he wasn't ready to go, but by doing so he had only made the blonde want to prove him wrong.

" Let's go," Touma agreed and opened the door, allowing Korin to go first before closing the door behind them both.

*****

It felt strange to be there. The walls were solid white, perfectly sterile and smelling like bleach and stale pine cleaner. Seiji closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. Touma stood beside him, his eyes set on the same thing his were, a door. A woman stood next to the white-painted entrance with chin length hair with bluish tints quite obvious.

" Are you sure about this Seiji?" she questioned him for the fifth time. They'd been standing outside the door for about fifteen minutes now and she was beginning to believe that Seiji truly was not ready for what he was attempting.

" Hai, I'm sure," he finally told her after being silent for the most of the time they'd been waiting. He himself had started to believe that he might not have been ready to go through with seeing Jack. He knew the man was unable to hurt him anymore than he already had, but he couldn't help the pang of uneasiness in his stomach. This is what he'd been waiting twelve years for. The chance to tell the person that had tormented him exactly how he felt.

__

Either now or never, he told himself. _I have to stop being so afraid._ He felt a hand slip into his own and knew that Touma was right there with him, lending him the support he so desperately needed. He gave him a weak smile before using his one free hand to take the knob of the door and turn it. He closed his eyes again and took in a deep, calming breath.

" I'll be right out here," Doctor Ami touched his shoulder right before he and Touma entered the room and shut the door behind them.

Inside the room was the quiet murmur of a machine or two coinciding with the steady beep of a heart monitor. The blonde moved around a partition that was by the door and let his eyes fall on the single bed in the room. On the bed was the object of his depression, lying inert with no signs of awaking any time in the near future. He was pale and IVs were hooked into his arms, routing in nutrition to keep him a live.

Touma squeezed his hand before letting it go and taking a step back. He knew that Seiji needed to do this on his own and accepted that, but his arms were ready to comfort Korin if something should happen. They had both been shocked to the call Seiji had received the day after their strange dream experience that had told them that Jack Williams had suffered a severe heart attack and then slipped into a coma. No doctor could find the answer for the heart attack or the deep sleep he'd entered afterwards.

__

But I know Gen and Yami Masho have something to do with it, he was sure of that. He remembered seeing two figures outside their window that same night three months ago and knew exactly who said figures had been. _I will owe them for that._ His eyes then cut into a glare as his eyes shifted to the pathetic being on the bed. _I can only hope that whatever they did to you will make you suffer for eternity._

Seiji was pretty oblivious to his lover's thoughts behind him. His gaze was still trapped on the bed and its occupant. He felt a strange lump in his throat that was preventing him from speaking and making his nervousness even worse. Just staring at HIM was bringing back memories that he didn't want to remember. They were causing his hands to shake in a way that had become very normal over the past few months when he was uneasy.

__

I have to do this, he repeated in his mind. _He can't hurt me so why am I so afraid? He is trapped in his own world now, I'll never have to deal with him again._ He told himself that continually and could feel what had been blocking his voice dwindle before disappearing completely.

" H-hello Jack," he whispered before becoming quiet once more. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to express how much he hurt, how much he hated the man before him (If he could be called a man), and how much he wanted to let everything go, but couldn't. His mind was freezing up and he could feel a trickle of sweat go down the side of his neck, right across the burn mark that just wouldn't go away.

" I g-guess this is a little strange," the blonde let out a humorless, nervous chuckle. " Whenever we met before, I always ended up getting hurt. But I guess you can't hurt me anymore, can you?" The blonde waited a moment, almost as if expecting an answer that he knew wouldn't come. " But if you can't hurt me, then why do I still feel this sense of fear when I think of you?"

Touma watched as the blonde ran a hand through his unruly blonde locks before starting to pace back and forth in front of the bed. " You always told me you didn't want me to be afraid of you," he continued, " but yet you purposely made me fear you because of what you did. Why? Why continue to twist words when you had already broken my soul?"

Tears began to fill pale violets eyes and Touma reached out to soothe the blonde. Seiji stopped him with a touch of his hand. " I-I'm not done," he told him. " I-I have to get this out before it eats me alive." Then he turned back to the motionless figure he'd been talking to.

" I don't know if you can hear me or not," the blonde spoke. " I don't care either. I have to tell you this, even if you're not listening." He was then quiet before clearing his throat and stating, " Y-you…You h-hurt me, Jack. You hurt me worse than anyone I have ever met and yet you never cared. You enjoyed hurting me. Why? I know I won't get an answer, but I still want to know why. Why did you love hurting me so much?"

Seiji didn't stop there. He had opened the floodgates and now he couldn't help but let out all that he felt inside. " I locked away how much I hated you for so long and tried to forget, but you never let me forget. You refused to let me have a normal life and enjoyed torturing me in during the day and even in my dreams. You're the reason I feared the dark as a child. You were my Boogie man and reveled in it!

Do you even know or care about what you've done to me? You have scarred my soul and I don't even know if that scar will ever completely heal. It will always be there as a reminder of you that I don't want. You Bastard! You wanted me to break, you wanted me to lose everything so that I really would be yours and only yours! Guess what Jack? I'm in love now! I have someone that loves me and doesn't care about what you've done! He doesn't care and I love him with all my heart!"

Touma felt tears coming to his eyes at that proclamation. It had been so hard for Seiji to admit his feelings and even speak those words in the past. He had been too afraid that everything would fall apart. But he had just admitted it in front of HIM, the one that had tried to ruin all his chances of ever finding true love. The archer walked up and wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders, helping to calm down his racing heart.

" I'm free now Jack," Seiji told the shell on the bed as tears cascaded down his cheeks. " You can't touch me anymore. I have decided to let it go, let _you_ go. You can no longer ruin my life and I refused to let the past destroy the peace I've found. We shall never see each other again, unless you decide to wake up and pay for what you have done. I'm not going to look back anymore, you're forgotten."

The tears wouldn't stop now, it was far too late to try to halt them. Seiji's voice left him and a sob caught in his throat. He leaned back in the protective arms that held him and breathed in Touma's security. He already could feel the pain that had weighted down his soul beginning to dissolve. He had just poured out his heart to his tormentor and it allowed him to truly feel free. Jack couldn't touch him anymore. He was able to live his life without the fear and depression.

" Are you okay?" Touma asked him.

" Hai," Seiji nodded into his shoulder. " Let's go home. I can't stay here any longer." The blue-haired boy nodded and led him to the door and out of the room. Neither even bothered to look back.

*****

__

The darkness had returned. HE cowered in fear and anxiety. He didn't like the darkness. It hurt him and laughed when he cried out in pain. The darkness was evil. The darkness was a monster in itself without the help of the others lurking within its mysterious mists. That's when the chuckling voice came back.

" Well, Jack," it laughed. " You've been a bad boy again. I guess you have to be punished."

" No!" the man shook his head like a scared child. " I'm sorry!" The darkness ignored his pleas and he could feel slimy hands with no fingers crawling all over him, grabbing his wrists and pinning them down again the cold stone ground he lay on.

" Bad boy," a hand smacked him across the face and the strange burn as if his skin was melting away. Jack screamed out in agony and then the hand pushed into his chest, burning him until he knew the skin was gone. His breath's came out in gasps and rasps, but the pain was etched into his body and had taken root so as not to be taken away.

" You hurt him," the voice whispered as if it was right by is ear. " You made him fear you and called him your 'demon.' **I**_ am your demon, Jack, remember that."_

" Y-yes-" he screamed out when he felt penetration. It happened like this every time. The voice would come and he would be beaten and punished. He couldn't escape it, all of it in his mind. He felt himself being ripped in two and the enjoyment from his tormentor for causing him pain. Hands held him down, burning him while he was violated in the worst ways. And then he felt another burning hand touch grasp him tightly.

" You're not enjoying yourself Jack," the voice seemed disappointed. The hand squeezed him and he screamed. Blood filled his mouth from the back of his throat and his felt as his most previous object was stripped in a burning flame of pain.

But then the cold came. He was freezing, his body chilled to the bone as if he was left naked in the middle of a blizzard. He wanted to curl up so that he could try to keep warm but the slimy hands held him down, keeping him from hiding from the chill. He was trapped. He was trapped and in pain that he couldn't describe even in his wildest of dreams.

" But you see Jack," the voice came again as if it read his thoughts. " This is a dream, a dream you'll never leave. This is a dream you'll live in for all eternity." It was then that he felt himself beginning to pass out, the pain too great. He knew he would awaken in a short time with all his injuries gone and the pain gone as well. He would then be left until he felt safe and then the pain would begin again. The voice was right, he couldn't escape. The voice was always there to create new pain for him to endure and he had no way to free himself from it. 

" I'm sorry," he whispered with a hoarse voice as unconsciousness claimed him. " I'll be good…I'll be good…"

A/N: Did yall like the ending? We think that Jack got his just desserts.

Kathrine: I still want to write a whole story about him being tortured. I know I created him, but I still hate the guy.

JC: We would like to thank all of the reviewers that ever reviewed or just read the story. It means a lot to us. We would also like to thank future readers in advance so that in case someone reads this later o they know we appreciate them doing so.

Kathrine: Now please review and tell us how much you liked the ending.

JC: We better go. We have to work on another story. Ja ne!


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